My Crazy Beautiful Life

Trying to Catch Up..........But There is Exciting News

2010-10-04T12:30:00.000-07:00

So I know I know, it's been forever since I have blogged. It's been a busy busy few months. So I thought I would take a moment and share what has been going on.

Cinderella is doing much better in her pregnancy. It has been a hard one for her. She still has morning sickness but not nearly as bad as it was in the beginning. She has to take antinausea medicine every day and will most likely have too until the end of her pregnancy. If she doesn't take it things get real bad.

She finally let me take a picture of her to post on here:

She sure is cute pregnant. She has gained about 8lbs so far and is now almost 22 weeks along. We had our BIG 5 month ultrasound a week ago and got to see really cool images of the baby. And guess what............

IT'S A BOY!!!!!! Little Landon Charles made his 1st debut on camera. Ultrasound camera that is. The picture above is two of the many pics the tech gave us. The top one is Landon sucking his thumb and the bottom pic proves he's a BOY!!! No denying that one.

After about a 30 second face of disappointment, Cinderella was happy and excited. She really wanted a girl. I personally, was very excited for a boy and had been hoping for it all along. :)

Now she is at the stage in the pregnancy where she can feel his kicks on the outside and feels it necessary to call me into the room every time he does. It cracks me up because she acts like I've never felt something like that before. I love just the thought of feeling "my" grandson kick. I'm still getting used to the whole "grandson" idea. The Baseball Stud was very excited to hear it was a boy, he now feels that he won't be out numbered anymore. Plus he gets to teach him baseball, football, basketball and to love sports in general.

I'm hoping to keep this up a little more frequently but wanted to be able to share what we have for now. I hope you all are enjoying life to the FULLEST!!!

12 Weeks and Counting

2010-08-05T23:21:00.000-07:00

So I said I was going to keep updating as Cinderella's pregnancy went along. Well we've gone through 12 weeks now.

We just went to a church camp out this last weekend and she toughed it out really well. I think she only got sick one of the days out of the weekend. I had one of my friends take a picture of her since she is starting to get a little pooch. So here is that picture.

I think she looks absolutely beautiful. She has actually lost weight but I think that is to be expected with all the morning sickness she is getting, more like all day sickness.

We had to go into the doctors today because lately she has been feeling very faint and dizzy. They had to take her blood pressure 3 times because it wasn't registering. She has VERY low blood pressure that is most likely brought on by the pregnancy, before hand her BP was fine. We also found out that she has an over active thyroid. I'm quite jealous of that and personally think it's unfair. But that is just the unselfishness in me. :)

We need to keep making sure that she is drinking lots of water and is careful about how quickly she gets up and moves around. This is definitely one difficult pregnancy at some points. She has made it clear to me that she will not be doing this again!!! We'll see. :)

We went out and bought a pack-n-play that has a built in bassinet and changing table. One purchase that we decided on now. The rest will wait until September 20th when we find out what she is having. Things are getting more and more exciting. Telling myself that I can't wait for February...... Patience young grasshopper is what I tell her so maybe I should take my own advice.

And here is what getting up early for a doctors appointment and then running around all day with a friend will do to a pregnant girl...... :)

Hope you are all doing well. Till next time.

A Perfect Game........Little League Style

2010-07-10T03:00:00.000-07:00

I'm a little late posting this but it is an AMAZING story.

The Baseball Stud's baseball season was a good one. Considering it's his last year of Little League. He pitched some games, played short stop, catcher, first base and third base. He hit some almost home runs and scored some good runs too.

BUT!!!!!! On June 5th, he had the MOST amazing game of his Little League career. One for the record books and one that got him front page in our community newspaper and even got him a letter from a sportscaster on ESPN. Yea, it was that GOOD.

My Baseball Stud pitched a PERFECT GAME!!!!! For those of you not to familiar with baseball that means that he pitched the whole game with NO walks, NO hits, NO errors!!!! He faced 18 batters and struck out 15 of them. In Little League and at age 12 you are allowed 85 pitches total per game. My Baseball Stud did the whole thing only pitching 68 pitches.

To be honest with you, I didn't realize what was truly going on until the 5th inning when the score keeper for the other team came over to one of our coaches and asked him if he realized what our pitcher was doing. They (all the coaches) knew exactly what was going on. The Baseball Stud told me later that he realized what he was doing about the 3rd inning. How stressful that must have been for him.

Going into the bottom of the 6th inning (little league major games only go 6 innings) the score was tied 0-0. We had our last ups, the Baseball Stud was up to bat, he was walked. Then he stole 2nd base. Then the next batter came up, our managers son. He nailed the ball and the Baseball Stud ran like his pants were on fire and his life depended on it. The crowd was cheering so loud, I was jumping up and down screaming, the manager (coaching 3rd base) was running next to him as the Baseball Stud ran for home. He scored the only and winning run for a 1-0 win in our last regular season game. I thought I was going to pee my pants and pass out at the same time. I couldn't believe MY boy had just pitched a PERFECT GAME and won it too.

At that moment in time, it didn't matter how many games we had won or lost all season. What mattered at that moment was what the Baseball Stud had accomplished. Something not all Major League pitchers can say they have done. It may only be Little League but it's all the world to him. Our league had other teams playing at other complexes and I still got calls because everyone had heard what he had done. At the end of the season BBQ at our league that day, people just kept coming up to him and congratulating him. He would just shyly grin and say thank you. I think I must have gone around and told so many people I was SO proud of him.

The best part........was at our end of the year team party. When in the mail that day was a letter addressed to the Baseball Stud with a return address from ESPN. I had no idea what it was or what it was about. We took it to the party so he could open it up and read it in front of everybody.

As he was reading it I was trying not to cry. It was a HAND written letter from a sportscaster for ESPN's show SportsCenter. It was from a sportscaster that used to do sports for one of our local TV news channels. I couldn't believe it. He was told about the game and what he had done and he praised the Baseball Stud and said maybe one day he would be doing HIS baseball highlights on ESPN. Then after all the trophies were handed out he was asked to come up and get his trophy but that wasn't all he was being given. After the managers speech and him receiving his trophy the other coaches came up and presented him with something else. When he pulled it out of the bag, I couldn't help but cry at that moment...........

For in that bag held the best present of all. The coaches had saved his game ball from that day. They had it mounted behind plastic onto a plaque that had all the details from that special day and game. Something we could place on the wall at home and cherish FOREVER!!!! I have always been proud of my Baseball Stud, but this this whole thing was absolute ICING on the cake.

What a way to go out, in his last year of Little League!!!!!!!

When Life Throws You Lemons You Make Baby Juice........Right?

2010-07-09T12:30:00.000-07:00

Confused yet??????

We have an announcement in our house. I'm gonna be a Ya Ya! For those of you not familiar that means Grandma in Greek. And even though we aren't Greek (everyone assumes with the last name) I can't pronounce the Hebrew or Hungarian version and if I can't then no child will be able too. Plus Grandma just seems so old to me.

We found out about a month ago and have been a little quiet with it so far. But after that first appointment seeing the baby and hearing the heartbeat I'm sold. Needless to say it was a shock. Cinderella is only 18 (19 in Sept). I was hoping she would wait much much longer. But life has other plans and God knows what He is doing and I have decided that it is a blessing that He has given us and we are going to embrace it. God never does anything without a reason.

I wish I could say that the situation is a better one but right now it isn't. I am very proud of the decision that Cinderella has made and I believe that this will only enrich her life instead of what others have said. We have received A LOT of negative words since this has happened and I am choosing to NOT listen to those individuals anymore. We have a wonderful positive and loving group of friends and church who have embraced this journey with us. Without these individuals we wouldn't have the joy to look forward too.

So for now, I enjoy going to every appointment with her, seeing the baby and watching it grow. I enjoy the love that fills my house and thought of new beginnings. I enjoy all the little nuances that come with expecting a baby. I enjoy the thought of being right by my little girls side when she welcomes this precious angel into the world. I enjoy knowing that God has a plan for my family and that He will guide us and He will provide for us. I enjoy knowing that I have wonderful friends and a loving church that will always be there for us. I enjoy my life for all that I have.

I will be posting regular updates of the whole pregnancy with pictures along the way. I would like to be able to put it all out there so that one day my grandbaby can see all the love that I had for him/her. So here's the 1st picture from the ultrasound yesterday at 9 weeks.

I have a Problem...........

2010-05-13T14:25:00.000-07:00

And I've come here to tell the world. Admiting is the first step right?

My problem you ask......... I have to have instant gratification. What? Did you think you were gonna get some juicy secret or something.

So I've said it, I've put it out there. This weighs heavy on me on a daily basis. A problem that sometimes hinders my daily tasks. One task in particular............the GYM!!!

I have been going to the gym for awhile now. I feel good about it, the only problem........I hate not being able to see changes quickly. I know I know, it takes time. It's just a matter of telling my brain that.

So in the meantime, I go to the gym before work and in the evenings, watch what I eat and stay positive that eventually I will see the results. I feel really good about this stage of my life and what I am trying to accomplish. Just gotta tell that brain of mine that it takes time and NOTHING is instant!!!

Dirty Little Secrets....

2010-05-04T12:06:00.000-07:00

Well not really. But I bet the title got ya didn't it????

I'm gonna do something I have NEVER ever done before. I'm gonna talk weight. Yea, you know that stuff that slows you down and makes you feel like crap. The extra weight that is. I have A LOT of it.

I haven't always had A LOT of weight, but you know that excuse, I don't have time. Well it finally caught up with me, and I don't appreciate it at all!!

Let me start off saying that I have never been skinny, don't really know that I ever want to be skinny. But I have also never really been thin. I mean, I'm sure as a child I was thin, but it all bombed on me starting in the 6th grade when I volunteered in the school lunchroom. Damn those school lunches. Then puberty set in, good thing I don't have any male readers, hehehehe. It's been said somewhere sometime that women on my Mom's side of the family tend to have weight issues after hitting puberty. Again, likely excuse. I think if you look at all the women on my Mom's side some just take better care of themselves and make sure that extra weight isn't an issue. I confess, I'm sure they all do and I'm the ONLY one that has the extra weight issue.

I have tried many times over the last 18 years to lose weight. Starting right after I had Cinderella in 1991. I weighed 145 pounds before I had her and weighed in at 180 when I had her. I think I was able to get down to 160 thereafter but that was as low as I was able to get. When I got pregnant with the Baseball Stud at 22 I weighed 180, there again I had gained 20 pounds in the 5 years I had Cinderella. One of the best things about this pregnancy was that I took better care of myself. I was no longer the naive 16yr old who thought she could eat anything and everything and be okay. Side Note: I do realize that you all now know I was 16 when I had Cinderella so I will give you a moment to pick yourselves up off the floor...... Good, we all better now. Let's continue. When I had the Baseball Stud, who mind you was A LOT bigger than his sister I had only gained 12 pounds. Now before you yell at me for only gaining 12 pounds you should know that my doctor was proud of me, and said I was fine. I had plenty of fat reserves as he said, so I didn't have to worry about the weight gain.

So after having the Baseball Stud I went back down to 180. Then somehow out of nowhere I went back up to 200. I don't know how that could have happened??? I'm sure it wasn't all the food I was eating and lack of exercise. There's no way that could be it, right?? I went through a couple of phases over the last 12 yrs since having him where I have lost weight, kept it off for awhile and then it would magically appear again. Out of nowhere I tell you!!! It should be a crime!! I have tried everything: the Slim Fast diet, Metabolife, Herbalife, any and every kind of diet pill you can think of. I've done the exercising too, problem there is I get bored after awhile.

Back in February I had an asthma mishap that landed me in the doctors office, well we all know what happens when you go to the doctor. That damn dreaded scale laughs at you and dares you to get on it. Just standing there smirking back at you as if to mock you. I'm pretty sure when I stepped on the scale it let out a big UMPH and then almost collapsed from laughing at me so hard. I couldn't believe my eyes. Folks, I'm about to admit out loud for all the world to know something I'm very embarrassed about. The scale screamed back at me 255!!! I almost fainted on the spot. More from totally mortification and embarrassment then anything else. It always feels like the nurses look at you different or judge you when they write that stupid number down in your chart. I just wanted to look at her and say "I have no idea how that happened". I'm sure though at that point she might have peed herself from laughing so hard. Well I vowed to try something at that point, I have NEVER weighed that much in all my life. I was so disgusted with myself. Well, I started eating better (and with the okay from my doctor starting taking Hoodia Slim Quick pills) and walking at lunch time. I was slowly feeling better. Then my stupid asthma came back with a vengence and I ended up in the ER. First let me ask this question, why in the heck must they WEIGH you everytime you come in? I swear that scale mocks me everytime and just loves it. I got on the stupid scale but this time, well this time I got to say a little UMPH. I had lost 5lbs in one week. Now that may not seem like a lot but for me it was.

This started my get up and go, this gave me the drive I needed, this gave me the confidence to think I might be able to actually do this. I kept walking at lunch, watching what I was eating and taking the Hoodia. Then I decided that the walking wasn't enough so I bought a workout DVD for the 1st time in years. And I actually did it. I had lost 27lbs and was feeling amazing because my clothes were getting to big. What a rush!!!!

But then it happened. That dreaded bordom set in. I was getting tired of doing the same workout in my bedroom. I needed something new or this was going to backfire completely and I really wanted it to continue. So I did it, I actually joined a gym. I didn't think I would actually do that again. But this time is MUCH different. I actually have a personal motivator that won't let me back out of it. His name you ask? Well his name is Baseball Stud. Yep, he wants to go to the gym and workout. He's finally old enough to be on the floor and actually use machines. And he loves his Mama and knows that she sometimes can't do this all on her own and needs a little shove or maybe sometimes I really hard push.

You see, when I started this single life journey a couple of months ago, I really wanted to work on myself. I wanted to take better care of ME. Because until I can love myself and the skin I'm in, I can't truly allow anyone else to love me or me to love them. I haven't done this before so now seems like as good a time as any other. The best thing about this time is that I have a little motivator to keep me going.

I will give weekly updates and give my actually weight as well. I'm not going to ignore it or be embarrassed or pretend it doesn't exist. I'm a real woman and I'm not afraid anymore to be real. I hope you enjoy this journey with me.

Before Pictures from my Birthday, 11/13/09

Happy Birthday to My Little Bro

2010-04-30T13:06:00.000-07:00

Today is my little brother's birthday. Now when I say little it only applies in age. By no means is he smaller than me, height wise of course. This guy, besides my own children is the light of my life.

A brother and sister relationship is one that not everyone can understand. You fight, yell, talk, love and irritate each other. It's the nature of the beast that is a sibling relationship.

But I have the best little brother around. We weren't always on the greatest terms growing up but seriously, what siblings are? I honestly believe that it took a death to bring us closer together. But from that moment forward I like to think we were brother and sister and friends. He is the funniest guy I know and the best at quoting movie lines. Cracks me up each time.

I hate that he lives so far away and I can't be with him on his special day but I will see him soon enough.

Jesse,
You are my rock. You are the one who helps keep my head on my shoulders and guide me in the right direction. It's funny when you think about the fact that I'm the big sister, because in most ways I feel the opposite. I look up to you and everything you do. You have accomplished so much that makes me so proud of you. Even though you don't always like to have those deep conversations with me, you still listen and you still give your input. You have such a loving and giving heart and I appreciate all that you do. You are absolutely amazing to my two kids. You have been there for them and loved them as if they were your own.
I can not imagine my life without you in it. Thank you for always listening to me, picking me up when I fall, letting me cry in front of you, helping me through life and loving me the best way you can.
One day soon we will be in the same town again and I won't feel so lost without you around. You are an amazing Man with the best values, heart and spirit. Today on your birthday I hope that you know how much you are loved and cared for by your Big Sister. I love you more than words. The following is just for you:

You and I
We're buddies
And we've been since we first met
Me and you
Well we've sure been through
Our share of laughter and regret

Lord knows we've had our bad days
And more than once we've disagreed
But you've always been a friend to me

You can be so stubborn
There's times I think you just like to fight
And I hope and pray
I live to see a day
When you say I might be right

You've always been
Time and again
The one to take my hand
And show to me it's okay to be
Just the way I am
With no apology

Oh you've always been
And you will 'til God knows when
Yes you've always been a friend to me

It's Called Mom Dedication....

2010-04-29T11:13:00.000-07:00

When you're out there freezing everything right off your body!!!!

We had a baseball game last night. It's actually the first weekday game we have been able to play since all the others have been rained out. Now don't get me wrong, I love little league and I love watching the Baseball Stud play. But there are some games where it is so cold outside that it feels not worth it.

Last night was one of those nights. Thankfully for me, I have an awesome team Managers Wife who not only brought me HOT Starbucks but a blanket too. And this game was worth it because we WON, not that it wouldn't have been worth it if we had lost!!!! :)

The boys played so good together. Even 2 of the boys who haven't hit the ball yet both got the bat on the ball. It was so much fun to see all the other boys so excited for those two. I swear I'm not biased at all, BUT we have an amazing team. Our boys are so dedicated to lifting each other up and encouraging each other that sometimes you forget they are only 10, 11 and 12yr olds. We have an amazing coaching staff too. These men are some of the best positive male role models our boys can have. And for some of the boys that don't exactly have that at home, they revel in it every chance they get. That I believe is what little league is all about!!!

So the Baseball Stud did awesome hitting, catching, shortstop, first base and pitching 3 up and 3 down in the last inning. I was a dummy and forgot my camera at home. But best you believe I will have it our game on Saturday. It's a BIG game for us playing an undefeated team in our league. I truly hope that the boys keep their encouragement and great attitudes all the way into Saturday.....

Wordless Wednesday - Baseball and Friends

2010-04-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

For more Wordless Wednesday go to 5 Minutes For Mom

The Way We Spend Our Saturdays

2010-04-25T01:01:00.000-07:00

From March to July we spend our Saturdays at the Little League fields. This tradition has been going for 8 years now. It's a tradition I LOVE!!! Ever since my little bro played Little League and right on up into high school. Baseball has been my thing. Around this house we eat, breath and sleep sports. Well 2 out of 3 of us do at least. Cinderella has no desire for anything sports related. :)

The Baseball Stud has been playing Little League since t-ball and has excelled at it every year. This year is his 3rd year in the Majors division and he is a true leader this year. His manager has made it clear that he expects him to be one of the leaders, something the Baseball Stud has NO problem with.

Last year wasn't one of the best for him and he really went into this season not sure if he wanted to play anymore. It made me sad to think about that but ultimately it is HIS decision if he plays or not. I will say I am glad that he decided to play and I really think he is too. We have an amazing manager this year who takes great pride in making sure the boys have fun but also learn and do well. He has words of the week that the boys focus on and they pray before each game. He takes time out to make sure each boy knows they did a good job and that they are valued and appreciated for their team efforts. I believe that the qualities our manager has is lost with most managers and coaches. I witnessed today a coach for our opposing team yell and scream at his players. I just stood there in awe, does he not realize that these boys are 11 & 12yrs old?? Does he think he is dealing with adults?? Although as an adult I wouldn't want to be talked to in this manner either. It certainly made me very grateful for the way our manager and coaches are with our boys.

We are truly lucky to have such an awesome team this year with exceptional boys who work very well together and love playing ball.

We won our game today and I am very proud of the Baseball Stud and everything he did. He ended up 4 for 4 with 3 singles and 1 double. He was shortstop, catcher and an amazing pitcher. All in all it makes me look forward to all of our games and watching these boys grow in their skill and mature into the productive young men they are.

Busy Busy Bees

2010-04-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

Life has been so busy lately. I know lame excuse for not blogging. I keep saying I'm going to and then I find something else that needs to be done.

So here I am finally sitting down to spill all. Our lives have changed a lot over the last couple of months. My 10yr relationship finally played out everything it could and believe me we tried. He moved out and then Cinderella's boyfriend moved out and we had the place to ourselves. So we thought. :)

Then a very good friend of mine needed somewhere to stay and I am never one to turn my back on my friends. It's completely different having her here. The kids love it and to be frank so do I. It certainly helps with the moving on and single part of my life right now.

Don't get me wrong, single life is definitely agreeing with me. I can honestly say I haven't been this happy since I can't remember. I see life so completely different now, with new refreshed eyes. I am embracing my singlehood and looking forward to what life will bring me. I have committed to being single for a whole year which I haven't had in over 18 years. Should be quite interesting.

One thing that hasn't changed is the time of year that it is. That's right it's baseball season once again. The Baseball Stud is in his 3rd year of the Majors division. This could possibly be his last year of little league and that saddens me. I remember when we first started t-ball, it feels like just yesterday and then I turn around and see this big soon to be teenager and I'm brought back to reality. It's hard to grasp. So for the next 3 months I will be posting pictures from the games. He has really started awesome this year, twice being inches from getting home-runs. I have no doubt that he will get at least one home-run this year.

I haven't even come close to really catching up but wanted to make sure to actually blog since I had time at the computer tonight. I look forward to catching up on everyone's blogs too. Until then.......

Words

2010-02-14T18:41:00.000-08:00

We're all taught as children, if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all.

Even when you are supposedly not in ear range you should always watch what you say about someone else. I unfortuantely have a really bad truckers mouth, which my kids have been very good at not repeating. But I would NEVER say anything mean about someone ANYWHERE near that person. I wouldn't even say it to my worst enemy or my ex-husband and we all know how I feel about him. If I of course ever said anything mean about someone. All funny stuff aside, some words can break a person.

There is one word in my book, one word that more than anything foul that can break me. Those close to me know what this word is and I refuse to even spell it out here. This word I feel is the foulest of all words. This word is one that I heard said I was. In this one defining moment I felt so small. I heard my heart break into a million pieces. I felt my feelings sink far far below. I don't think anyone up until now has ever called me this word. But I now know what it feels like to be broken down. It's like being slapped hard in the face.

And although no one knows that I heard this it still made me cry very hard. This is something I will never forget. This is a heartbreak I will never forget. I know I will get over it eventually. It kinda reminds me of that saying.......

Sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me. I will try and keep this saying in my head.

But...........if you remember one thing and one thing only, if you have nothing nice to say then say nothing at all. Especially if the person you're saying it about is anywhere within ear shot range!!!!!!!!!!

Health....what is it really worth these days???

2010-02-04T14:22:00.000-08:00

A lot apparently, because mine is not so good.

I had a very bad cold about a month and a half ago. The worst cold I have had in at least 2 years. I normally am pretty good at staying healthy. But this one hit and it hit hard. I was actually out of work for 3 days, that never happens.

Just when I thought I had it in the bag it came back. This time even worse because it affected my asthma. I have had asthma since I was a little girl. I've had a handful of asthma attacks in that time. But Monday night on my way from work was a bad one. While on the phone with Kaiser I had an asthma attack. What a sight that must have been for passerbys. I had to finally pull over.

Needless to say I ended up in Kaiser's ER that night. I knew going in a needed breathing treatments. Something I haven't needed in many years. Cinderella stayed home with the sleeping Baseball Stud and Jeff was nice enough to take me in and wait with me. I think it freaked him out a bit by how bad this was all affecting me. And it doesn't matter that we aren't together anymore he still cares about me and will do whatever he can. I still love him just for that.

After 3 hours, 2 breathing treatments and some steroids I was good to go home. I felt like I could run a marathon with how hyped up I was. But I was breathing so much better it didn't matter. I was able to get some much needed rest at home on Tuesday. The only real bright side to the trip to the ER, I discovered I had lost 5 pounds in 2 weeks. YEA ME!!! :)

I'm still having some difficulty so more meds were prescribed after talking to my doctor but I think we're gonna get this thing nailed. It's funny how you can seriously take for granted how important your health is. I've lived with asthma almost all of my life but never really had to fight with it like I have for the past 2 weeks. I am grateful for the awesome health care I have through my job, but it sure does make me wonder about those who have no health insurance.

So to me, my health is everything and is worth everything. Whether I am healthy and smiling or sick and crying my health matters to me and to those around me.

Single Changes

2010-02-01T12:33:00.000-08:00

Isn't it funny, when we go through a life change, like a relationship change we want to change everything.

We realize we've been letting ourselves go, we haven't really been paying attention to that person in the mirror looking back at us. It's really quite unfortunate that we ignore ourselves for so long, that everyone else and everything else is more important. Sometimes we don't even realize that we are ignoring ourselves. Until you find yourself in the midst of a life change.

That's where I find myself. With change that has already started and more that will be coming forth I feel a need to really change myself. To take into consideration how much and how long I have let myself go. To realize how much and how long I have ignored myself. It's kind of funny, I feel almost like I am going through a mid-life crisis at 35. But not a bad mid-life crisis, a great one. One that is awesome and empowering.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm still a little scared. Not sure how I will be able to handle things when I am completely on my own. When that day comes in this next month I will need to learn the art of balancing everything in my own two hands. I will need to learn to not let fear control me, even when I feel it's grasp reaching for me.

This is where I believe that if I continue to work on myself and bettering myself that I will hopefully be able to conquer this fear I feel. There is no turning back and I don't want to. There is only looking forward......into that shining light at the end of the tunnel. And even though that light seems so far away right now......I pray that it will continue to stay where I can see it and feel it's warmth.

The Art of Being Single.....

2010-01-29T21:24:00.000-08:00

As I said before I am reading an amazing book by Judy Ford. This book has really opened my eyes to the single life I am embarking on. There is one part of this book that really spoke to me, I wanted to include it here so you could understand how I feel.

"Living single, satisfied, fulfilled, and independent is an art. It's not a birthright, an inheritance, or a windfall. It's not luck. It's something that's developed, studied, worked on, and perfected. It requires inventiveness, imagination, determination, awareness, and skill. Anyone with gumption and desire can do it. Anyone who wants to celebrate and rejoice in all the magnificence that life offers can practice the art. Life is overflowing within us and around us, in the clouds, the trees, and in the stars. A satisfied single, like a poet, a musician, or a dancer, is committed to celebrating all of existence. They see beauty in it all. Such a single stands on her own, apart from the crowd. She dances to the beat of her own drum."

That is how I'm feeling right now. This is a lifestyle I need to embrace and want to embrace. Something I swear I would never even say, let alone want. I want that determination and imagination. I want to find my gumption and desire and embrace it and invite it in.

After I started reading this I realized that the "Single" life is not for everyone. And that's okay. I've never really done the "Single" life so I don't know what to expect. But I want to walk into that future and take whatever comes my way. May it be good or bad, I want to walk to it. Other than becoming a Mother, I have never wanted something so bad. I've never committed to something with so much determination. I'm hoping that by committing to making myself happy and grow to making myself satisfied that I will in turn better myself inside and out.

Taking one step at time to creating a better me. I've been so unhappy with "me", the inside me and the outside me. This is my chance to make "me" better. This is my chance to work on "me". This is my chance for rebirth, to be what I have always wanted to be, but was always held back in some way.

To be: Satisfied, Fulfilled, Independent and SINGLE!!!!

Single: Week 1 - Think of Your Life as a Movie

2010-01-18T21:35:00.000-08:00

Why are there so many stigmas to being single?
I've heard and read that you're considered an old maid if you are single. I don't agree.
But what if you are deciding to be single, I mean really choosing to be single?
I've chosen to be single again. Let me start by saying that I have been in long term relationships since I was 16. This last one the longest at 10 years. I realize I've sacraficed a lot of myself in each one.
I decided this weekend that I needed to spend some time with myself. I haven't been hapy in a long time. I started to question myself. Why wasn't I happy and how can I make myself happy again?
To start this journey I bought a book titled "Single, The Art of Being Satisified, Fulfilled and Independent" by Judy Ford. So far I really like the book and it has really opened my eyes. I enjoy that at the end of each subject she is on she gives you things to "try".
I figured as I go about my new journey of singlehood I would write about what I learn as I read. So tonight I start with the subject, "Think of your life as a movie".
In this subject she talks about the morning she looked out over the horizen and saw what a perfect backdrop it would be for a movie. You know those moments where everything in that very moment seems perfect. How it reminds you of one of those romantic movies with a happy ending. But as you're looking you realize that it is nothing like your life. Nothing about it is anything like your life, you can't even find one little moment where it might reflect on your life. You realize you're not happy.
You realize there is nothing predictable about your life. I find myself these days feeling just that. One moment I can be as happy as a clam, looking forward to the future and the next minute I can be in tears. Yes, I do realize they have medicine for that but I think it's more than that. Isn't it funny how in our darkest moments where we feel like our world is falling apart we can put on that happy face and no one is the wiser? In those moments we are acting. Some of us can put on Academy Award winning performances. I suppose you can actually put your life in categories: Drama, Comedy, Thriller and so on. Most days mine is a Drama, not that I always choose that. I miss the Comedy I once had.
When we have a life style change such as becoming single again it can create heartache. One of the most important things Judy Ford says under this subject is: "It's in the acknowledging of our situation that we're able to rise above it and turn our heartbreak into hearwarming victory". This is something I will be focusing on. When we look at our life and imagine it as a movie, we can play the part good. Trying our best not to get stuck with it. Then like those great actors we can look forward to sooner or later a new role presenting itself to us.
Growing up we all believe in some way that every story must have a happy ending. While this is ideal, it is most likely not what actually happens. However, we can still strive to attain that happy ending. We can still make all efforts to provide ourselves with a happy ending. You can make your happiness.
I don't know what will happen to me as I take this journey to being single again. I'm sure I will stumble and fall. But you know what, that's okay. I'm a big girl and I can dust myself off and keep moving forward. I may not be making an award worthy performance right now, but you can bet that I will eventually get to the point where I feel like I am and I will be very proud of myself.
I hope that if you are in my same shoes that you will follow along with me. If you aren't then I hope you can still join along, I may need you to help me when I stumble.
Now, as Judy Ford does at the end of every subject, here is the "try this" she has for this subject:
1. Write down the names of actor and actresses that you'd choose to play the characters in your life story.
2. Think about the main themes.
3. Carry a journal, and jot down your best lines.
4. For one week, step back and watch. View your life as if you were sitting in the audience.
5. Give yourself a round of applause or, better yet, a standing ovation.
I will definitely be trying some of these. I believe that journaling will be very good for me. A way to look back and see what I am going through. I think it is very important to remember #5, I think we short change ourselves in this department. We are always willing to remember what we messed up or did wrong. But we hardly ever pat ourselves on the back when we do something great or accomplish something for ourselves. Try it this week and let me know how it feels.
Thank you for taking this journey with me.

Ramblings

2009-12-12T00:11:00.000-08:00

I have so many thoughts going through my head right now that I just needed to write some of them down.

Do you ever feel like your life is not going in the direction you necessarily had planned?

Every once in awhile I feel like that. It comes more often these days. I'm not exactly sure why but there are little signs that are pointing me to the answers. Isn't it funny how we don't always want to hear the answers that are there. That old saying that it's easier said than done. Boy does that really ring true sometimes.

We always have the best of intentions in the beginning or we think we do. What we think is good for us at that moment or time. Then we look back and think differently. But knowing you can't change the past always makes you want to scream.

Sometimes I feel like I think I'm making the right choices or decisions and when I look back I think I'm a total idiot for even trying. I think to myself was the choice really what I wanted or maybe I felt guilted into it. But then I remember that I am the only one who can make my own decisions and that I shouldn't let anyone else sway that decision. Yet I always seem to find myself letting others help sway the decisions I make.
I just can't figure out why? What in my childhood made me let others have so much control over my decisions? Where did that moment happen that made me think I couldn't think for myself? I wish I could remember more of my childhood to try and sort through all of that. I can say I had a good childhood. It wasn't all roses but for the most part good. I was loved by both parents and extended families.

I guess I feel that most of that all changed when my life changed at 16. That one single moment in the emergency room that I found out I was going to be a mother. One of those moments where you know your whole life is going to change whether you like it or not. Didn't matter what choice I made then my life was forever alterted. I had choices I could make but my faith only allowed one choice. Something at the time I thought I was able to do and wanted to do. I can honestly say looking back that the #1 reason for making that choice was so that I would have someone who would love me unconditionaly. Not entirely knowing all the hard work, heart break and joy that would come from it.

Alienating some of my family by making that choice was very hard. And at the time maybe I thought faith would only bring me closer to those people. Sometimes faith can break your heart too. I knew making the decisions I was making then would only make me look different to those family members. And yes it did hurt and it did break my heart. And to this day I still feel the huge strain of that choice and the distance it has brought.

Maybe this is all being brought on by the fact that the holidays are near and we (my children and I) have no family close by. Knowing that we have family only 12 hours away but so many light years away in many ways is hard. It's funny how envious I am of my BFF's family and the closeness they have. I have quite a few friends that are so close with their families that it makes me wonder how in the 30+ family members on my Mom's side that we never talk. It's quite unfortunate that I don't have contact with my Dad's family and I can bet you that if he was still living that it would be different but it's not the case no matter how much I try.
Christmas has always been a hard time since my Dad passed away during Christmas in 94. With the empty feeling of no family near it really brings it out more. I feel for my kids who unfortunately have no further relationship with their father by his choice that they have no family to make memories with during the holidays. I do my best and sometimes feel my best just isn't good enough.

It's funny how the Baseball Stud is constantly talking about how bad he wants to move to Chicago to be near his Uncle Jesse, Aunti Amy, E and M. It breaks my heart that he can't be close to his cousins. It breaks my heart that I can't be nearer to my brother and sister-in-love.

Life doesn't always go the way we want it to go. One question I keep asking myself is how can I put my life in the direction I want it to go? How do I put one foot in front of the other and not be scared to death that the first step I take isn't going to make me land flat on my face? That the first step I take is the right decision for my kids as well? I do realize that none of us know these answers, that these are answers that you must find for yourself by taking that first step. Just really wish I knew what was making me so scared to take that first step. That first step that could possibly take my life in the direction I have always longed for.

What I am Thankful for......

2009-11-27T22:52:00.000-08:00

Are you surprised to see me????
Yea, I'm back and just in time for Thanksgiving and a time for thankfulness.
I just wanted to say how and what I am thankful for so please bear with me.
My friends mean the world to me and I truly believe I wouldn't necessarily be where I am today without them. I am so thankful for all the ways they have impacted and changed my life for the better. Whether it be life long friends, blogging & twitter friends or ones who have come back into my life, they are what makes me what I am.
My family, it may not always be what I want or need at any given moment but they are my family. I may be closer to some than others but they are my family. I am so very thankful for my brother and his wife, they are my rocks and even though they live so far away now they are who I turn to for it all. I love my family and am thankful to have them.
My children, yes they are separate then my family because they are my life. I am so thankful they are in my life. I truly believe my life would have taken a very different turn had I not become a mother. And I can guarantee you that the turn it would have taken would NOT have been good. They are what makes me strive to be better, to work harder and want more.
I am so very thankful to have a job, in this economy anybody would be thankful for that. I am thankful I have a job that I love. A job that I love going to. One that allows me to help others.
I am thankful for all the wonderful and many blessings that God has given me. He never gives us what we can't handle and even though His version is sometimes very different than mine, I will nonetheless remember that He is in charge.
I hope that you all find what you are thankful for and that you and I never forget what it is. To all of my blogger friends and any other friends who read this I hope you have a life that you can be truly thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

What Every Woman Should.......

2009-10-26T09:02:00.000-07:00

I come across this poem at least once or twice a year. It usually comes around when I need to be reminded of it. So this time I thought I would share it with all my friends.

Maya Angelou's Best Poem Ever

A Woman Should Have....
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own,
even if she never wants to or needs to.....
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dream's wants to see her in an hour....

A Woman Should Have....
a youth she's content to leave behind.....
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....
a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra.....
one friend who always makes her laugh..... and one who lets her cry...

A Woman Should Have....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family.....
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal,
that will make her guests feel honored....

A Woman Should Have....
a feeling of control over her destiny.....
how to fall in love without losing herself....

Every Woman Should Know.....
how to quit a job
break up with a lover,
and confront a friend without ruining the friendship.....

Every Woman Should Know....
when to try harder......and WHEN TO WALK AWAY!!!!

Every Woman Should Know.....
that she can't change the length of her calves,
the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents.....
that her childhood may not have been perfect.....but it's over.....

Every Woman Should Know.....
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more....
how to live alone..... even if she doesn't like it....

Every Woman Should Know....
whom she can trust,
whom she can't,
and why she shouldn't take it personally......

Every Woman Should Know.....
where to go.....
be it to her best friend's kitchen table....
or a charming Inn in the woods...
when her soul needs soothing....

Every Woman Should Know.....
what she can and can't accomplish in a day.... a month..... and a year.....

Beware!!!!! The following post might make you laugh so hard you cry!!

2009-09-15T10:30:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while so I thought I would come back with something so hilarious you would all forgive me. This is an email I received from my brother at work. I had to laugh quietly which if you know me is NOT easy. But I did and I laughed so hard I cried, couldn't breathe and my stomach hurt. This is HI LARRY US!!!! Enjoy!!

I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my dad's patented 'You're definitely going to crap yer pants' chili.' Tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, which comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it the next day both of your butt cheeks WILL fall off.

Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning, and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No 'Watson's Movement #2.' Despite habanero peppers swimming their way through my colon, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.

Knowing that a moment of reckoning was to come, yet just not sure when, I bravely set off for the market, a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.

Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the rest-rooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about.
I'm referring to that 'Uh oh, gotta go' pain that always seems to hit us at the wrong time. The thing is, this pain was different. The habaneros in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the rest-rooms - it happened, the peppers fired a warning shot.

There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me. Slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, I began to move up the aisle and out of it, just as an elderly woman turned into it. I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally?

Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some of you at least will be able to relate. I could've warned that poor woman but didn't. I simply watched as she walked into an invisible, and apparently indestructible, wall of odor so terrible that all she could do before gathering her senses and running, was to stand there blinking and waving her arms about her head as though
trying to ward off angry bees. This, of course, made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh.. Mistake.

Here's the thing. When you laugh, it's hard to keep things 'clamped down', if you know what I mean. With each new guffaw an explosive issue burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked, fearing that someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.

Suddenly things were no longer funny. IT was coming, and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms, laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal buttplosion took place.

Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the john, began the inevitable 'Oh my God', floating above the toilet seat because my butt is burning SO BAD, purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of 'Shock and Awe'. He made a gagging sound, and disgustedly said, 'Sonofab--ch!', then quickly left.

Once finished I left the restroom, reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping when a store employee approached me and said, 'Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the vent fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem.'

That of course set me off again, causing residual gases to escape me. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and, pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted, 'IT'S YOU!', then ran off returning moments later with the manager. I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly not to return.

Home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili, so I consumed two more bowls.

The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Their managers claim they're going to have to repaint the store...

Now you can go get some Kleenex and wipe the tears from laughing. Enjoy the rest of your day!! ♥

First Day of School

2009-08-27T12:38:00.000-07:00

I'm a little behind in this post but wanted to get it out.

Monday was finally the first day of school. I say finally because the Baseball Stud has been waiting for school to start. Did you just fall out of your chair??? Hard to believe but he has been waiting for it to start. He misses his friends and has actually had the most boring summer E.V.E.R!!! If you ask him.

We went and did as much school supply shopping as I could do this past weekend. I didn't really have a list that said what he needed but found some generic ones on the web. It's been a while since Cinderella has been in 6th grade. :) It felt really weird to only be doing back to school supply shopping for one kid. For the last 6 years that he has been in school I've always bought for two. Now Cinderella isn't in school anymore. Still trying to come to grips with that.

We had everything packed up in his backpack the night before and had his clothes all laid out. I was just as anxious as he was for the 1st day. This is his 2nd and final year at this elementary school. Of course being in the 6th grade means that he is the BIG man on campus. He was so looking forward to this. Me??? Not so much considering in reality it meant that he would be starting Jr High next year. HOLY COW, different when you actually type it out.

So Monday morning before I took him to school we did our ritual picturing taking. I do this for the kids on their 1st days each year. He was obligatory to it at home and even smiled for the camera. But as we got closer to the school he said, "you can drop me off here!" I said, "I can walk you in just to make sure the teacher information is correct" to which his response was, "NO!!! I'll be fine and DON'T FOLLOW ME EITHER!!!" I couldn't help but chuckle a little bit and smile. So I let him get out and watched him walk across the street to the school. I sat there in my car watching him walk away while some tears fell down my cheek. My baby boy is growing up and is slowly pulling away from me.

All I could think about was Kindergarten when he let me go in the classroom with him and I sat there watching when he turned around and said to me, "you can leave now Mommy." I remember thinking at that moment, I'll leave when I'M ready too. :) And walking out of the classroom and crying back to my car. One day soon he'll be in high school and then it will be his graduation that we are all attending. Sometimes I can't wait for them to grow up and those moments are few and far between BUT there is a huge part of me that wishes I could go back to that day in Kindergarten and never let him grow up. :)

Life is a Highway.........

2009-08-18T12:46:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like I am in the fast lane on the highway and my brakes have gone out. It's not for the bad by any means. So many things have changed from my last post.

The Man has come back and we are currently working things out, this is a good thing. He is a great guy and we needed to be able to work our stuff out by ourselves first to be able to make things work for us together. Things are definitely looking up and that makes me a very happy girl.

The Baseball Stud and Cinderella are glad to have him back as well. And as I mention the chitlins I should mention that I have acquired a new one. (Yes Mom, that means you kinda sorta have another granddaughter :)) Let me explain a little. Cinderella's best friend, we'll call her Ariel, has moved in with us. It appears that this will be a permanent situation. I love her like she was one of my own and she and Cinderella have been BFF's since the 6th grade. She is a good responsible girl and we love having her.

With all that said, we are now in the process of changing rooms for them. The Baseball Stud has the bigger bedroom and it's now something the girls need to be able to fit two beds and other misc in. This will definitely not be easy as he has a bunk bed that will need to be taken apart because the monstrous thing won't fit in the new room.

All this and school starts next Monday for him. My baby boy is starting 6th grade. The last year of Elementary School. I will cry some tears I'm sure as I take him to school. Before I know it we will all be attending his High School graduation. ***Shudder*** I'll just shove that little piece of thought in the back of my head.

Cinderella is waiting for her 18th birthday which is NEXT MONTH!!! What???? It can't be...... I can't be a mother of an 18 yr old. Can I???? It's hard to believe. Once she does she will be getting a job. She wanted to wait so she wouldn't need a job permit and wouldn't have to work in fast food. She is looking for something a little more substantial. I'm hoping that she can find something, things are pretty hard out there. Cinderella has said that she will most likely start a Jr College in the Spring. She was very burned out by school there at the end so I think it's okay to wait a bit. Ariel will be starting college at the end of this month. Very proud of her, she will be going to our local state college to obtain a nursing degree. Cinderella and Ariel's birthday's are 4 days apart so they both get to turn 18 around the same time. I'm sure they'll be wanting some kind of party. Cinderella's boyfriend's birthday is the same day as hers just a year older. Kinda cute if you ask me.

So as you can see things are definitely moving in the fast paced lane on the highway. My job is still going strong and I love it. It looks like I will be traveling for my job in October, we have an annual conference each year and this year it's in Anaheim. I'm looking forward to the opportunity to help out and meet our members. It should be fun.

Hopefully somewhere along this highway I will find my brakes and be able to slow down a little bit. In the meantime, lookout for the crazy driver screamin with her head out the window. :)

Caution: Bumpy Roads Ahead, Hard Hat Needed

2009-07-11T00:00:00.000-07:00

So I am a newly single girl again after 9 1/2 years. It's a huge adjustment. One I honestly thought I would never be making again. But here I am.

There are pros and cons to being single. Right now for me the cons are completely out weighing the pros. But I'm sure with time and healing that will change.

I've really struggled with this lately as you can read in past posts. On Thursday night the Baseball Stud stayed the night at a friends house and that was the first time in over 3 years that with both of my kids gone I was completely alone in the house. And it really really felt lonely. You don't realize when you wish for peace and quiet and some alone time that when it comes it may not always be all it's cracked up to be. I learned that really quick. Sleeping was the hardest. Knowing I was the absolute only person in the house creeped me out.

Everyday has it's peaks and valleys and I try to lean more towards the peaks but it doesn't always work out that way. It's so weird to come home to empty when the kids are gone and then to not have any adult interaction anymore. No one to stay up with me after the kids have gone to bed to watch TV, to talk about sports with.

I know that the road ahead is going to be bumpy and I just need to put on my hard hat while driving and push forward. I had a guy from work who was so sweet to talk to me about all this, who said if you try and rush through all of these feelings that it will only be worse in the end. My BFF says it too, give yourself time to grieve this relationship. You've lost someone you loved and your heart is broken. These are things that I really need to hear right now. Because part of me feels like a fool for feeling all of this and then the other part of me feels like I shouldn't have to justify any of my feelings to anyone. Of course sometimes I just feel like telling the whole world to suck it but that's not a nice thing to do. :)

So for now I think I will let my heart hurt like it does, allow myself to cry when I want to, allow my feelings to hurt like they do and know that one day it may be different.

All-Stars

2009-07-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

We had our 2nd game last night and we didn't fare as well as we did in the first game. Unfortunately we lost this one.

The Baseball Stud struggled. I felt horrible for him. But we all know some days you're on it and some days you aren't. Yesterday was one of his off days. He knew it too after the first two batters got really good hits off of him.

To hear him tell me before the game that he wishes Jeff was here to give him one of his pep talks broke my heart in two. I had texted the Baseball Stud twice before the game to give him what I considered a pretty good pep talk. But we all know I'm just a girl and it's not the same.

After pitching 1 1/2 innings he was moved to right field. He had batted in the 1st inning and struck out. After the 2nd inning he was never brought back into the game. It's hard to watch that and know that he's good but they aren't using him in his normal position. Oh well.

I did remember to get some pictures this time. We have another game tonight, it's win or go home. We'll have to see. I will be giving updates on twitter. I don't know if he will play or what position he will play.

Here is the team during the National Anthem

All-Star Season is Upon Us....

2009-07-09T00:00:00.000-07:00

We have been in practices for All-Stars for quite a few weeks and besides the every day grind of it that seems to be the death of me the games have started.

I of course forgot my camera when we played our first game the other night. I know I know I'm a bad mama. We had a bye at the beginning of the tournament, not sure why but it gave us a chance to size up our competition. Our little league is hosting the first couple of rounds. So after each practice if there was a game playing the boys would watch the teams playing.

This is the first time the Baseball Stud has played on the 11-12 team. The team that could possibly go all the way to Williamsport for the Little League World Series. I won't tell you my thoughts on that possibility. Because we all know that no one likes a negative nelly. He's been a little frustrated this year and has kinda lost his heart for baseball, and those who know him know this isn't right. AT.ALL!!!

But we had our first game a couple of days ago and I was doing everything in my power to rush there to see it. Thankfully I didn't miss his one and only up to bat. He hit a single right up the center. It was AWESOME!!!! I did however miss him playing right field for 2 innings. He said he made a good play though. He's not used to this position so it's a change for him. I'm hoping that he will be able to play 2nd base at some point as that is his normal position. He did let me know that he will be pitching at some point at todays game.

But our team nailed it, they won 10-0 and only went 5 innings due to the mercy rule. It was a great way to start the All-Star tournament and we are looking forward to more wins. I promise to bring the camera with me this next time.

Wordless Wednesday = Exhaustion

2009-07-08T11:25:00.000-07:00

After having baseball practice EVERY day and games in between you just can't blame the boy. This is how he fell asleep last night, butt up in the air and everything.

Trying to Start Fresh

2009-06-30T13:33:00.000-07:00

Today is D-Day in my house. At least to me it is.

Today is the Man's last day. Over the last few weeks I knew this day was coming. I have tried and continue to try to put my best foot forward and wear my biggest smile. And for the most part I think I have accomplished fooling myself into being happy.

Well today I am not happy. I'm hurt. I feel like I am about to get punched in the gut but I don't know when it's coming. It's just lurking there waiting for the most opportune moment when I am least expecting it. The ride to work this morning was weird, the Man was nice enough to bring me in since he was already heading to his storage unit and I still have no functioning car. I just had to reach out and hold his hand, at first afraid he would pull away from me. He didn't, I'm sure he was feeling all that I was feeling as well.

When you have given 9 years of your life to someone you love, someone who made you feel special when no one else could, someone who made you feel like the world stopped when you were both in the same room together; it just doesn't go away. Even if you both think that this is the right thing to do and at this time it may be the right thing to do, it still hurts.

Yes, life does go on and yes things will get better in time. But right now it feels like things have stopped and I need to vent a little. Because not only do I hurt for myself but I hurt for my little boy. My precious baby boy who no matter how hard I try and persuade does NOT want to see or talk to his Dad. Something I will never force upon him, but the same little boy who just last night tried so desperately not to cry in front of me as we had a heart to heart about baseball and life. That same little boy that I know loves me and appreciates everything I do for him but just wants that guy in his life who will toss the ball with him, hang out with him and help him through life. As not only a Mom but also a Girl I can only do so much in his eyes. And even though I made sure to ask him if there was anything I can do for him and watched him shrug his shoulders and then asked if he would tell me if there was anything I could do for him and he nodded yes I feel like I have let him down in some way. That the mistakes I have made in my relationships were at a cost to him. Cinderella will always have her Mama around to do girlie things with and come to when life has her down and Baseball Stud sees that. And in a way I feel like I cheated him of that.

My biggest fear is that he will go down the wrong path as I did just one year older than him. As much as I want him to feel like he can come to me with anything, I know there will be a point in time where that just won't do anymore. To watch him lose his heart and soul in a game that he has loved since the age of 2, the same game that he eats, breathes and sleeps; just absolutely breaks my heart. That over the last 4 months I have seen his mood go from happy to melancholy and withdrawn just breaks my heart. What do I do? What can I do to make him know that I love him more than life and will do anything for him? These are rhetorical questions more than anything else. I'm just at a loss right now.

And as I try and hold it all together for him, I know deep down inside my heart is breaking in a million pieces at losing the love of my life and watching my little boy hurt too.

Hair Today Gone Tomorrow

2009-06-29T15:18:00.000-07:00

The Baseball Stud finally decided long hair wasn't it was all cracked up to be. THANK GOODNESS!!!!!

I was really starting to have a hard time with it and was very and I mean VERY close to pinning him down and giving him a buzz cut.

But before I could threaten that and actually have to follow through he came to me and asked if I would take him to get his hair cut. After taking a couple of double takes at the question I took him the first chance I had.

This cut is a little like his last one except for the bangs this lady gave him. I'm pretty sure that boys aren't supposed to have bangs. They have since grown out more and he combs it to the side so you can't tell. But I am so stinkin glad he finally cut it and now that the temps have reached 108 outside and he still has baseball practice he is now VERY glad that he cut it.

Graduation

2009-06-29T12:35:00.000-07:00

I'm getting really bad at this blogging thing, but in my defense I don't have Internet at home anymore so I can't post there which leaves work the only place I can. Then I'm at the mercy of breaks and lunches to be able to do it. Ok, so enough with excuses.

It's been a long time since I have posted and at last post we were getting ready for Cinderella's big day!!! Well it has obviously come and gone and it was the most magical day aside from giving birth to her. I am so proud of her beyond words. The day was gray and drizzly but we managed to get through the ceremony without it raining.

It was so great to have my Brother, SIL, Mom, BFF, Cinderella's BFF and my ex-boyfriends(from a long time ago) parents there. I started crying as the National Anthem was being played not that this surprised anyone. My Brother just looked at me and said "Are you crying already?" DUH!!!! My baby girl was graduating high school.

It was one of those moments where all the years flashed before your eyes, you know the ones where you flash back to the day they were born and you first hold them. To the days of them taking their first steps to speaking their first words and sentences. To their 1st day of Kindergarten and beyond.

It was so hard to comprehend that I was now a Mother of a high school graduate. But I was and as nervous as she was for the day I was 10x more nervous for her.

(Above) Uncle Jesse and Aunti Amy with the Graduate. (Below) The whole family excluding the Baseball Stud who was at his last Little League Game.My BFF (who is also considered a 2nd Mom to both of my kids) was awesome and threw a Graduation party for Cinderella after the ceremony. Thankfully we had time to stop at home and change. This picture of Cinderella and my BFF is one of my all time favorites.

We had a great time at the party and it gave everyone a chance to relax and catch up since it had been so long since my Mom, Brother and his family had been here.

So now Cinderella is enjoying a very needed relaxing vacation in Illinois with my Brother and his family. She took Amtrak all the way from Sacramento to Chicago, 51 hours one way in a coach seat. Other than not being able to shower for 2 1/2 days she enjoyed the trip and got to see magnificent scenery along the way. She tells me they are trying to fatten her up, I'm wondering if they are trying to convince her to stay. I'm thinking heck we should all move out there cause this livin so far away from my nephews and my Brother and Sister-In-Love is really taken a toll on me!!!!

To My Baby Girl on Your Graduation Day

2009-06-06T00:00:00.000-07:00

Today, is my baby girl's high school graduation.

Cinderella,

It's so hard to believe we have come to this day. It seems like only yesterday I was holding you in my arms after 12 1/2 hours of labor. Looking into your eyes and knowing that nothing could ever separate us. Knowing how proud I would be of all your accomplishments along the way in your life. Now we have come to a big accomplishment in your life. I can't begin to tell you how proud I am of you and all the hard work you have done this year, especially in the last 4 months to get you to this point. You have finally done it and you are now through high school. The big world is now at your feet and you can do anything and absolutely all that your heart desires.

I know you are scared at what the future holds but know that I will always be here to walk beside you in your journey. To offer you my love and acceptance in everything you try. Remember you will make mistakes and that it's okay, these will all be learning experiences that you can take with you through out your life. Remember that boys come and go and that your friends will be there forever. Remember to not try and be something you are not just to please people. Most of all enjoy the dance, laugh often, love with freedom and be true to yourself. I love you more than life!!!!

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder

You get your fill to eat

But always keep that hunger

May you never take one single breath for granted

God forbid love ever leave you empty handed

I hope you still feel small

When you stand by the ocean

Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens

Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance

Never settle for the path of least resistance

Living might mean taking chances

But they're worth taking

Lovin might be a mistake

But it's worth making

Don't let some hell bent heart

Leave you bitter

When you come close to selling out

Reconsider

Give the heavens above

More than just a passing glance

And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance

I hope you dance!!!

Just Gotta Love This Boy

2009-06-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the last little league game of the Baseball Stud's that I was going to be able to see. The team has one more game on Saturday morning and he has decided to go to this game instead of going to his sister's graduation. She is okay with it and it looks as though it will be his last little league regular season game. We don't think he'll be doing little league next year.

So he got to really play it good in this game. Even more awesome was the fact that my Mom was there having just got it in from flying all day from Maine. He pitched 4 awesome innings and had a single and a double. He played with so much umph and so much excitement. You could see he was amped up knowing his Nanny was there watching him. I'm pretty sure it payed off because all the boys seemed to really be in the game hardcore last night. They won 5-4 and were all just bursting with smiles.

It's a little bittersweet knowing that it was his last "little league" game that I would see. We've been in little league for 7 years and now it's time for us to move on to more competitive pastures. We will miss little league but we have so many memories. It's hard to believe this little boy from 7 years ago just starting out in little league has grown so much.

Big Mama (that's Nanny to you) is on her way!!

2009-06-04T12:53:00.000-07:00

Today......more specifically this afternoon my Mom arrives in California.

She hasn't been here since she moved to Maine 3 years ago this month. She is coming for Cinderella's high school graduation. We're very excited for her to be here, especially since she's been gone so long.

She came just in time to catch the Baseball Studs last little league game!!! She has a hotel to stay at and will be here until next Thursday. I have to work today and half day tomorrow then I am off until June 15th to enjoy some family time.

Things are getting exciting around here waiting for the big day on Saturday. My brother and his family arrive tomorrow afternoon and I can't wait!!!!! Hopefully I will be able to update my blog while they are all here. I have a special post coming on Saturday morning for my little girl!!!!

Memorial Day Tournament

2009-06-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

Over the Memorial Day weekend the Baseball Stud played in a baseball tournament. I know I know, don't act so surprised. It wasn't necessarily the way I wanted to spend my long weekend waking up at the butt crack of dawn but it's what I do for the love of the game. :)

We played in a 14U division, which meant that the Baseball Stud was going to be one of the youngest if not the youngest.

The first game was 8am on Saturday and he was to be the starting pitcher. When we pulled up to the fields and he got a look at the team we were going to face, the first words out of his mouth were, "I'm gonna get killed!!" The other team was HUGE!!! I'm not joking, their smallest kid was around 5'10" and their biggest kid was 6'5", I'm pretty sure that kid shaved that morning and drove himself there. The Baseball Stud is only 4'11".

But the Man called and gave him an awesome pep talk and it seemed to put him at ease. But we really never had a chance. He did pitch AMAZING!!! Struck out some of their big boys and was good enough to impress the other teams coaches, the umpires, the fans and the league that put on the tournament. They were talking about his pitching all weekend. Definitely made me proud. We lost that 1st game 26-0, yes you saw that score correctly. And that was just in 3 innings. They stopped the game after that to be nice. But our boys came out of that dugout smiling and saying "Bet you never saw any other team with a smile on their face after losing 26-0!!" And their right, you won't ever see another team take a beating like that and still smile and joke.

The rest of the weekend wasn't as bad as that 1st loss, but we didn't win any games. The boys all had fun and the Baseball Stud impressed a lot of people. I do believe that if we play in a tournament like this again next year it will probably be with kids more our age and size. Unless the Baseball Stud is one of those HUGE kids. :)

My Other Girl Erin!!!!

2009-06-01T11:42:00.000-07:00

UPDATE WITH PICTURE:

We had a blast at Erin's graduation last night. And yes in case you're wondering I did cry when she came walking towards the stage during the processional. The pictures sucked that I took inside, I just can't seem to get the camera right. Erin graduated with honors and I'm very proud of her. It did make me laugh afterwards when she walked right past her Mom to me so that she could give me a big hug.

I'm proud of you Erin!!!!

Original Post Below

Cinderella has a BFF that means the world to me. Erin is one of the best things to happen to Cinderella. They met in the 6th grade and have been inseparable since then. Even while Cinderella isn't living with me they make sure to spend time with each other every weekend she is home. Most of the time Erin spends the weekends at our house and she usually will come with me to get Cinderella.

She has grown into a wonderful young woman, who is smart beyond measure. She is on the debate team at school who won and is now going to the National finals in Nashville later this month. She has been in a doctor/nurse program all 4 years of high school and is planning on attending our local university this fall to become a nurse. I think of Erin as my other daughter and look forward to her moving in with us eventually.

Well with all that said, I'm proud to say that I will be attending her high school graduation tonight. Unfortunately Cinderella will not be able to attend. But me, the Baseball Stud and my BFF Jennifer along with her 3 kids will be cheering Erin on and she gets to walk across that stage.

So Erin this is for you:

Remember you are a beautiful young woman and you have your entire life in front of you. Remember that no one should ever ask you to change yourself for them. Remember your friends are sometimes your best family and that we are always here for you no matter what. Shine bright and never dim that awesome outlook you have on life. When you feel lonely remember my arms are always open to welcome you in and give you a warm hug.

I love you and I am so very proud of you and what you have accomplished.

Two Steps Forward Three Steps Back

2009-05-27T14:38:00.000-07:00

Today I gave back my ring to him. A lot of women might have kept it and not even given it a second thought. But I knew this was not mine to keep. But it still made me very sad to do it. My heart sank and it hurt to know that this only made things more final.

That ring symbolized a loving relationship to me, a moment in time that he gave it to me in front of a restaurant of people. Kneeling down on one knee and asking me to spend the rest of our lives together. Something I thought would always be. Looking back I would have never guessed there would come a day when I would be giving it all back. A day when that very ring that I cherished so much would not mean what it's initial purpose was. That I wouldn't be spending the rest of my life with the man that I loved.

But as I stood there this morning putting it back in its box and putting it on his dresser a part of me went into that box with it. A piece of my heart was packed away with it.

All I could do was tell my heart that tomorrow is another day and it will be okay. My heart didn't really believe it but hopefully tomorrow I can go two steps forward again.

Happy Birthday to my Bestest Friend in the Whole Wide World

2009-05-26T11:11:00.001-07:00

Today is my bestest friends birthday. Jen absolutely means the world to me.

We met 23 years ago at church and for those of you who really know us know how funny that can be. We have been best buds and very close since then. We lost track of each other when I moved away for a couple of years but picked back up after.

Jen was there through both of my pregnancies and threw both of my baby showers. She was my birthing coach when I had my son and got pregnant with her first child shortly after that. We like to joke and say that her oldest daughter and my son have a prearranged marriage so we can not only be best friends but also mother-in-laws.

Jen has been through a lot in her lifetime and I am so proud of all that she has accomplished through the bad and the good to make her life one I wish I had. She is a wonderful wife and an amazing mom. She is just as much a mom to my kids as I am and I know that she would do anything for them if I couldn't.

So as she celebrates her 34th birthday, and yes I did just give her age away because she's younger than me, I wish her nothing but the absolute best and that all her wishes come true. This one is for you Jen:

Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant

I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see, the biggest gift would be from me
and the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend

Whatever you need, anytime of the day or night

I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

And when we both get older
With walking canes and hair of gray
Have no fear, even though it's hard to hear
I will stand real close and say,
Thank you for being a friend

And when we die and float away
Into the night, the Milky Way
You'll hear me call, as we ascend
I'll see you there, then once again
Thank you for being a..

Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend
Whoa, tell you about a friend
(Thank you right now, for being a friend)

And yes Jen, I know the picture is old. I'll find one from home and add to this later. :)

Trying to Move Forward

2009-05-22T16:02:00.000-07:00

Well I can honestly say that I am so glad that this work week is done. Another week down, another week closer to the inevitable.

I am so desperately trying to fill my mind with things to do and keep busy with. Thankfully I have baseball and graduation to think about. My Mom will be arriving in 13 days followed by my brother and his family the next day.

I am so looking forward to having my family here. Especially my brother and sister-in-love. I was just talking with her the other day and said how much I missed them and wished more than ever that they were closer as I was going through all of this relationship stuff. My SIL has always been great and has always been there for me. My brother, well he's a guy so you can imagine. He does give me hugs when I need it and understands that I hurt.

I didn't realize how alone I felt until I was faced with the prospect of not having the man around anymore and not having my family close. I have amazing and wonderful friends, I do and they have been great through all of this. But do you know what I mean when I say I feel alone? Sometimes a girl just needs her family, her Mom, her brother. What I could really use in all of this is my Dad. I know that he would have all the answers and would hold me while I cried it all out.

I was talking with the Baseball Stud the other day and asked him if he was bummed that the man and I had broken up. He said "yea" and I asked why, he said, "because he is cool and I like him". That just about broke my heart all over again. What do you say to that? After his Dad bailed on him and now this. I reminded myself that it's all for the best but in moments like that I kick myself so hard. A day or so after that the Baseball Stud then asked me a question, with a serious almost sullen look he asked, "are you gonna get another boyfriend right away?" I was kinda shocked and taken aback by that and said NO. He had the most relieved look on his face. I was glad.

Cinderella hasn't been home since this all happened so I'm not sure what her attitude will be about it, although she is old enough to understand and she certainly has bigger fish to fry these days getting ready for graduation.

So as we come to a long weekend, I am hoping to keep it full of fun things to keep my mind busy and my heart full. I hope you all have a great Memorial Day Weekend.

We Touched the Sun

2009-05-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

For you Jeff. I hope if you should read this that you understand.

We touched the sun

We held the stars

We fell in love with open hearts

We chased our dreams

That went beyond

We did it all

We touched the sun

When I look back I'm glad we found each other

With no regrets along the way

And what was like an endless summer

It's just yesterday

And even if it's not forever

We were meant to be together

Even if it's only for a while

We touched the sun

We held the stars

We fell in love with open hearts

We chased our dreams

That went beyond

We did it all

We touched the sun

Only Gary Allan could help me express the way I'm truly feeling. Thank you for being you and I love you and will miss you too.

A New Look

2009-05-13T13:28:00.000-07:00

As you may notice I have a new look to my blog. Thanks to my awesome Mom!!! There will probably be a couple more changes i.e. a new header and possibly a name change. But I figure I can still blog anyways.

And even as I look at this new blog with refreshed eyes, I'm not myself today.

Last night through many tears a wonderful 9 year relationship came to an end. Now I normally don't talk about my relationship here in this blog because 1) I don't need to bore anyone and 2) Because I always wanted to respect his privacy as he read this blog as well.

I'm not sure if he will read it anymore but I feel today that I need to talk about it. I need to express myself more than I ever have about this relationship. It has meant a great deal to me over the last 9 years.

When he and I first began dating we worked at the same hotel. He always made me laugh and was fun to hang out with. It's funny because in the beginning neither one of us were necessarily looking for anything permanent. But nonetheless it happened. I'm so glad that it did too.

He was the great love of my life as I look back over these last 9 years. He taught me so much about love that no one else ever had. He taught me what it was like to be treated like a princess and what real love felt like.

He did so many things for me and for my kids when there was no one else. He sacrificed a lot to be with me these last 2 years. There is so much more I want to say but trying to type them out through dry eyes doesn't seem to be in the cards for me today. And although we both agreed that this is for the best it hurts me so deeply. And although I keep thinking what a big mistake I'm making I know that this is what I need.

It scares me to death to know what the future will be like for me and my kids and for me more importantly. But I know that with each day the tears will lessen and I will be able to continue to put one foot in front of the other.

Until then, all I ask of my sweet and awesome bloggy friends is to be patient with me. There are going to be days where I blog about it and days when I don't. There are gonna be days where it's going to be harder for me than others. But I know you are all so understanding.

As for today, I'm just trying to get through it with semi dry eyes. And if he does read this I hope he knows how much I love him and wish him all the happiness in the world and just so he knows Gary Allan's music will never be the same.

Caution: Hard Hat Area

2009-05-13T07:12:00.000-07:00

Well good morning everyone! This is Becky's mom and I am messing with the template and such. Hopefully by the end of the day this blog will be displaying the emperor's new clothes.

Thank you.

CCCCCHHHHHHANGES!!!!!!!!!!

2009-05-07T15:24:00.000-07:00

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program...to bring you this latest news break

I have decided to make some changes to my blog. With the awesome help from my Mom it will soon have a new look. I'm even looking at changing the name so if any of you awesome blog friends have any ideas please let me know. We're looking at a beachy theme.

So for now, I will resume my baseball and graduation Momma duties. See you all real soon. I'll be back I promise.

Yankees Win........

2009-04-15T21:54:00.000-07:00

The Baseball Stud had a game tonight. I didn't get any pictures because of where I was sitting. But we had a great game. The Baseball Stud had 3 walks and scored with the last one.

He pitched the last 2 innings and played like his hero Jonathan Papelbon. He was a great closer for the game. We won 4-0.

I promise to get pictures from this coming Saturday's game!!

Here we go River Cats Here we go!!!!!!!!!!

2009-04-15T21:25:00.000-07:00

The man was offered season tickets for a single Sacramento River Cats game the other day and he willingly excepted them. We love getting tickets that way. We had 5 tickets and a parking pass for Wednesday nights game against the Portland Beavers. Our seats were 4 rows back from home plate. Definitely the best seats we've ever had.

So I invited my friend Heather and her son T to come with us. So we all met up at our house and headed over to the game in my car. It was gonna be a fun night and it was gonna be COLD.

But we had so much fun and the River Cats won 4-2.

T and the Baseball Stud before the game started.Me and Heather before the game started.This is how good our seats were.During the game when it started to get really freakin cold!!!!

The Baseball Stud with Dinger the mascot. And yes that is really the Baseball Stud under all that hair. :)

The boys doing the chicken dance in some seats below ours.

A Perfect Easter Day!!!

2009-04-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

With Easter this year I though that it would be a very quiet one with just me and the kids. The man had to work all day and I wasn't going to make any special Easter dinner. Then the Baseball Stud was invited to go spend the night with his friend Ant. They were doing a sleep over with another friend J and they were going to dye Easter eggs.

We went over and dropped him off and Ant's mom Amber invited us over for Easter brunch the next day. It was also decided that Amber would do both Cinderella's hair and mine. I've needed it for quite awhile with all my grey showing and I made a deal with Cinderella that if she finished all of her math for the year we would dye her hair too.

So Cinderella and I went out and picked up the dye and some food for brunch. We came home and chilled watching Twilight again while she did the last of her math work. It was nice for her and I to be able to hang out together just the two of us.

On Sunday morning I did a little more cleaning and then we headed off to Amber's house. When we got there the boys were playing Rockband and the Baseball Stud was singing his heart out to Eye of the Tiger while Ant played drums and J played guitar. Here is the video from them playing.

The boys were definitely having a good time. The girls were all getting food ready for brunch. It was really Amber and her Mom. I was trying to help but they just wouldn't let me. Our brunch menu consisted of the following: scrambled eggs, french toast, sausage, bacon, biscuits and gravy, cheesy potatoes and of course Mimosa's for us adults. It was so good. I'm pretty sure it was the only meal I ate all day!!!

Lindsey drinking a virgin Mimosa. She only has a month and a half left before little Jared comes.

Before we had brunch we let the kids open their Easter baskets. My kids weren't going to get one but Amber and her Mom made sure that the Baseball Stud got one and a special one for Cinderella so she could be included. Then it was time to hunt for Easter eggs and goodies. Carl the Easter Bunny went out front and hid eggs. The boys then went out to "hunt" them, all except the Baseball Stud who informed us he wasn't 5 so he wasn't going to participate. His loss, that meant more for Ant and J. Carl the Easter Bunny hid them good and the boys had fun looking for them.

Baseball Stud's Easter Basket above and Cinderella's Easter basket below.

After we were all done eating and cleaning up we spent the afternoon in the backyard. It was so warm and nice that both Ant and the Baseball Stud decided to get the slip n slide out and go surfin. The water was freezing but it didn't take long for them to get the dish soap out and start sliding. They were using a mini foam board to surf. While they were playing Amber got busy dying Cinderella's hair. It turned out so good too. This is a before shot and then you see the after shots outside. If you look real close you can see that dumb lip piercing she did this past week!!

After that Amber decided to continue her full service salon and waxed Cinderella's eyebrows and then mine. At this point Cinderella's BFF came over to pick her up to go hang out. Amber and I decided we would go for a walk to work off all the food we ate and the boys decided to go with us. It was so nice to walk the neighborhood and look at all the houses.

Then we came back and chilled for a bit before Amber started in on my hair. First she cut about 2 inches off and then dyed my hair the same color as Cinderella's (which also happens to be the same color as Amber's hair). Now Cinderella really looks like me. YEA!!!! After we got all the dye in my hair the Baseball Stud and I headed home with a plastic bag on my head. We figured it would be easier for me to just take a shower at my house to rinse out the color. I'm sure if anyone saw me as I drove home they thought I had lost my marbles.

All in all it was a great Easter that almost wasn't. Thanks to Amber for inviting us over and letting us be a part of her family for a day!!!! I have also put some pictures below of the boys surfing on the soapy slip n slide. The first one is of our lovely host and awesome friend Amber.

Take Me Out to the Ball Game.......

2009-04-13T21:33:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again. You all get the pleasure of reading my many posts on the Baseball Stud and his little league days. I haven't started out very good though.

We've already had opening day and 5 games. His team name this year is the Yankees and for a Boston Red Sox fan that's hard. :) But he bites the bullet and goes with the flow. The Yankees are 3-2 winning their last 3 games in a row. The Baseball Stud has done really good.

His opening day game was awesome even though they lost. He pitched the entire 6 innings and only pitched 69 pitches. That's pretty darn good for little league. They were bummed they lost but I think he knew he had a good game.

The boys just need to remember this isn't last year, no one is going to go undefeated. All the teams in his division have lost at least 1 game so far so nothing is written in stone just yet.

He's gotten his hitting back and even hit a home run in practice on Saturday. It was so amazing to watch. His coach was so excited for him and then right after that his friend M hit one. The coach (M's stepdad) took them both out for ice cream as a reward.

Here are a couple of pictures from his last Saturday game. It was a great game, I got sunburned and they won, typical Saturday. They play again on Wednesday and I will make sure to get some pictures.

This is our littlest fan Zenith, his big brother plays on our team.

Have Permit will Drive........

2009-04-13T21:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, so yea it's been a long while since I have blogged and I have a lot to catch up on. It will take a few posts so here goes.

Cinderella was here this past week for spring break. One of the top things on our to do list was going to DMV and getting her driving permit. Most kids would be doing this when they are 15 1/2 and not 17 1/2. Unfortunately because of some school trouble she was not given her pink slip from the school. So if you are 17 1/2 you can go get your permit without the pink slip.

So we headed over last Tuesday and got in line at 7:15am, didn't open till 8am. But I am glad we got in line, by the time it opened there were at least 50 people in line. We were only about 15 back from the door. And before you ask, yes I brought my camera, unfortunately the DMV won't let you take pictures inside. I swear they will do whatever they can to take the fun out of it.

We were able to get right up to a window and very thankful they didn't ask for her Dad's signature, online it said you had to have both parents. But I had a trick up my sleeve if they were to ask. She did her eye exam and then took her picture. They do the license picture when you get your permit now so better be ready. We knew ahead of time so she was prepared unlike her best friend to have it taken. After it was time to take the written test.

The Baseball Stud and I waited in the waiting area and after 15 minutes she was done. Now it was time to wait for the results. It only took about 5 minutes for her to hear her name called and be told that she passed. You're allowed to miss 8 and she missed 6. And it's always the trick questions you miss.

As we walked out she gave me that look like "I get to drive home right?" Of course I let her, I think the Baseball Stud thought he might not make it home. :) But we did just fine. I had her take back roads first to get used to driving. So of course before we pulled out I made her pose for a picture with her permit. I had to get proof. :)

Lazy Saturday........

2009-03-28T14:30:00.000-07:00

This is the weather outside today. It's absolutely beautiful!!!!

But I'm not exactly outside enjoying it. I'm still kidless miraculously and I'm really enjoying it.

The Baseball Stud called last night from the basketball game to ask if he could stay the night at M's Dad's house. Of course I said yes.

And this is what my Baseball Stud got to do on his lazy Saturday.

When he called last night he also asked if it was okay if he went flying with them today. You see M's dad is a pilot and has his own plane. And although I am deathly afraid of flying I wasn't gonna put that upon the Baseball Stud so I said yea he could go.

M's step dad (Coach Torre) called me earlier today to let me know he thought he saw the boys flying over. I wasn't fast enough to get out there and see them. But the Baseball Stud just called me to tell me that they did go flying and flew by our house and then headed over the baseball fields so they could see the little league games going on. After they flew over the fields they headed west. Guess what they got to see next...........

That's right they flew to San Francisco and went over the Golden Gate bridge, of course this is just a picture I got from google so it wasn't this clear. But they did get to see Alcatraz and the Bay Bridge. He was so excited. I'm glad he got to do this. M's dad said they took video so I can see it when I get there to pick him up.

Now I am off to go pick him and his friend M up and bring them back here for a couple of hours.

aaaaahhhhhhhhhh Peace and Quiet

2009-03-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

Well it's another Friday night and the weekend is here.

Cinderella has decided she doesn't want to come home this weekend. Instead opting to spend the weekend with Grandma and a friend. I'm not hurt by this at all and I mean that. She has friends up there that can now come over to her house and hang out now that she isn't living with Dad anymore. I'm all for letting her take out time for friends.

The Baseball Stud has baseball practice today at 4:45pm until 6:45pm. He has already been picked up by Coach Torre's wife and is hanging out at their house with his friend M until practice. Then she just called me to say that M's Dad was picking him up from practice and taking him to the Sacramento Kings game tonight and M's Dad wanted to know if the Baseball Stud wanted to go with them. He had 3 tickets and was willing to take him with them. How cool is that? Of course the Baseball Stud said YES!!!!! And inside I did a little jig!!!! Not gonna lie about that.

The man is working until at least 10pm so it will be me, myself and I having some much deserved peace and quiet. Oh how I have longed for this for over a month. Just a little quiet time all by myself.

Do you know what I plan on doing with my peace and quiet?????????????????

I'll be watching him

And this one...

And of course this one......

Of course I will be paying attention to the entire movie.........I think........I swear I will be.

Nothing like a peace and quiet evening with the Cullen's. :) Hope you all have a great night.

Always Remember This

2009-03-24T16:25:00.000-07:00

I received this in an email from a friend the other day. I'm not sure if she truly realized how much I needed this at that very moment and over this last week. I think I have lost this along the way lately and need to be reminded. Everything seems to be a blur lately and always going in fast forward.

So today as I still feel overwhelmed and hazy I read this again and decided I would share this with all of you as well.

A Woman has strengths that amaze men.

She can handle trouble and carry heavy burdens.

She holds happiness, love and opinions.

She smiles when she feels like screaming.

She sings when she feels like crying, cries when

she's happy and laughs when she's afraid.

Her love is unconditional!

There's only one thing wrong with her:

She sometimes forgets what she is worth...

Twilight Mania

2009-03-23T00:05:00.000-07:00

If you haven't heard of Twilight yet then get yourself out from under the rock you are hiding. If you do know about it then you know all about the DVD being released at midnight on Friday/Saturday.

Cinderella started reading the books when they first came out and was a fan right away. Definitely her kind of books. Then she asked for all 4 books for Christmas because she had to borrow them from a friend to read and she likes to re-read books all the time.

So being the awesome Mom that I am I got her all 4 books for Christmas. After that she kept bugging me to read them. At first I totally refused to be sucked in (pun intended). But then I broke down and started reading them. And you guessed right, I got SUCKED in and in a BIG way. I was hooked and a proud member of Team Edward. I had a hard time with the 2nd book, it could be that I just don't like the character Jacob very much. I kept stopping and telling Cinderella that I didn't want to read anymore. Thank goodness she kept on me and my bloggy friends who had read it kept pushing me to continue. Then I got into the 3rd book and found myself staying up to late in the evenings reading because I just couldn't put the darn book down.

By the time I got into the 4th and last book I ended up staying up all night on a Sunday night before work to read the whole thing, I think it was close to 800 pages. I just couldn't put it down. I laughed, I cried, I got mad and then I cried all over again as it ended.

Now this was all after the movie had come out and I had no intention of seeing it. Cinderella had gone with some friends in November to see it when it came out. But after reading the book I decided to give in again and go see it. Of course I had to take Cinderella with me. She would do anything to see it all over again. We went go see it and took the Baseball Stud with us. He wasn't to sure about wanting to see it and almost fell asleep until those action scenes started up and then he was all into it.

After I saw it that first time I was hooked. And it was only confirmed that I was definitely team Edward because after I watched the movie how could I not be. I had officially become a Twilight Mom. After that first viewing I was looking for reasons to go see it again. My next chance came when my BFF's daughter had finished reading the first book and was now allowed to go see the movie. She had just had a birthday and I hadn't gotten her anything so I took her to see it with my BFF. And then just for the heck of it I spent an awesome night with Cinderella and we went and saw it one more time on the big screen.

I've read the 1st, 3rd and 4th book all twice. I could only read the 2nd twice in certain parts. Then a couple of weeks ago while at Blockbuster they asked me if I wanted to pre-order Twilight. I thought about just reserving it and then thought I better buy it right there in case. They let me know they would be staying open late to have a release party and let people come and get their copies at 12am on March 21st. Cinderella and I were there at 11pm waiting. If you were one of the first 25 people you got a movie poster with the movie and we all know Cinderella had her eyes on that. Nothing like staying up that late when I had to be at the baseball fields at 7am the next morning. After we got our movie and movie poster we were told to stick around because there would be a raffle for those who had pre-ordered it. Why not stick around for another 5 minutes.

Well good thing we stuck around cause we won. Cinderella got another official poster, some sweathearts candy in Twilight commemorative boxes and a $10 blockbuster gift card with Edward's face on it. We didn't realize until we got home that the poster she won was DOOR size. Seriously it is huge. The candy was pretty gross but she wants to keep the boxes they came in. Since we have had the movie we have watched it 3 times, of course 2 of those I have fallen asleep half way through because I was so stinking tired.

Here's a picture of the poster she won.

Opening Day of Little League

2009-03-22T16:26:00.001-07:00

Welcome to opening day of Carmichael Little League.

After having a beautiful weather week in the upper 70's we experienced a little bit of winter again on Saturday just in time for opening ceremonies. I can't remember an opening day where it has actually been sunny and warm.

It started really early for us. The kids and I got there at 7am so I could help get my snack bar ready and assist with setting up for opening ceremonies. Cinderella just stayed in the car, so much for helping. :) The Baseball stud used the extra time to play some hoops outside to help him warm up.

I got most of my stuff started and then had to head over to another room for our team pictures at 8am. Then it was back to the main fields for opening ceremonies. The teams all had to line up based on youngest division to oldest division. It is quite a sight when you have all 22 teams out there.

Once we start opening ceremonies it is so cool. I love when the honor guard from the Sheriff's department comes out to represent our flag.

After we did all the team announcements and the national anthem we got to recognize our All-Star team that won a championship and our Majors Tournament of Champions team that won District. Now the cool thing about that last recognition is that the Baseball Stud was on the team that won District 5 TOC's and his manager from last year who is no longer affiliated with our league came back to be a part of this. Some of the other boys who are not playing in little league anymore also came back.

After everything was announced it was time to get the games started. The Baseball Stud and his team were the first to play. He was pitching the first game and the lead off hitter. He was only scheduled to pitch 3 innings but Coach Torre (nickname for the manager) must have seen something good because he ended up pitching ALL 6 innings. I wasn't in the stands for this game as I had to keep my eye on the snack bar. So I stood out beyond the fence in center field with his manager from last year who stayed to watch the game, Coach Sirosky (his P.E. teacher, who also helps with practices), and another coach from last year. I still got to see him do some amazing pitching. But I missed every time he was at bat. He walked at his first at bat and then stole 2nd, struck out swinging at his 2nd at bat and got a base hit at his 3rd at bat. The coaches I was standing with all thought that he did great job at pitching and did well for hitting.

Our team lost 0-3, we just couldn't get our bat's on the ball. But it wasn't a blow out and the kids did great. The boys took it hard, I think some of the boys that took it the hardest are the same boys that were on that undefeated team last year. We have all been reminding them that this year is nothing like last year. Maybe they needed this to bring them back to reality. Here are some pics of the Baseball Stud taken by his Grandma who came to watch him play his opening game.

This last picture below is a cool one that his Grandma took, it was between innings and he was wearing one of the coaches jackets to keep his arm warm. He had an undershirt on but it was really cold outside.

After the game my day was far from over. The Baseball Stud decided to hang around the fields while I worked in the snack bar. The league decided to get a volunteer coordinator to handle all the parent volunteers that our league was going to require this year. Well needless to say I had no parent volunteers signed up after 1pm and the snack bar was scheduled to stay open until 6pm. Two of the ladies who had been there since 10am were nice enough to stay with me until the last one left at 4:30pm. For some reason our last minor game started an hour late. That did not make me happy considering those games have no time limit on Saturdays. The cool thing was that the Baseball Stud got to be the base umpire for that game along with Coe's (last years manager) son who was the head umpire. He even got paid $10 for doing it. The managers and some of the board members who saw him said he did a good job.

At this point I was by myself in the snack bar and my puppies were barking VERY loudly at me and I even had my good tennis shoes on. I was tired and I hurt but still had a couple of hours left. Thankfully Coe's oldest son showed up just in time to help me in the snack bar. I don't think he thought I was gonna let him leave ever!! But he was a big help.

I finally got out of there at 8:15pm and thought I would die. The Baseball Stud had left with Coe's boys and was gonna go to Sky High with them for a couple of hours and Cinderella was staying at a friends house. I just went home and relaxed and enjoyed my quiet time. After Baseball Stud got home we went to bed. We both slept in until almost 10am. And he's even taking a nap right now.

It's been a long weekend but oh so much fun!!! This will be our Saturday's from now on even if he isn't playing that day. Our next game is Tuesday and I will actually get to be in the stands for this game. I'll make sure to take lots of pictures and share with everyone. Hope you all had a good weekend too.

Work It Girl............

2009-03-18T22:15:00.000-07:00

That's what I was saying to Cinderella on Saturday as she was freezing her butt off being a good sport about her senior portraits. The weather was nice and warm during the week and then it got cold on Saturday.

I felt so bad for her walking around with her blanket and me having to yank it off before each picture. She even had her hair done all nice and the wind just ruined it. But we had an awesome photographer and she did really good.

Our photographer David was awesome and was even nice enough to give me some sneak peeks of the pictures to look at. The ones I have seen turned out so good. So I am posting a collage here so I can share my beautiful girl with all of you. Of course I could be biased since she is my little girl.

You can click on the collage to see it up closer...

It's a Sick Day

2009-03-17T11:56:00.000-07:00

Today we are having a sick day at home. The baseball stud is not feeling good. He has been complaining about a sore throat for about a week and of course I ignored it. I just figured it was nothing.

Well I got home last night from work and he was already sleeping. It was only 6pm. He slept until 7:30pm when he woke up and said he didn't feel good and sounded horrible. I took his temp and it was 102.2. Guess he isn't faking it. :)

So I made my calls to let my office know that I wouldn't be coming in today. So the baseball stud and I stayed home today lounging on the couch.

That's What Friends Are For

2009-02-25T13:20:00.001-08:00

That title says it all. It's a very powerful statement that is ringing true in my heart right now.

I have been going through a lot over the last week or so and my friends have been there for me. For moral support, emotional support and physical support. My new bloggy/twitter friends have been the best moral and emotional support I could ask for. My best friend and her husband have been all three for me.

There is a poem that always comes back to me every now and then when situations like this remind me of it. With everything that has happened over the last week or so it only seems fitting that I post it here and say a BIG THANK YOU to all of you who have taken time out of your busy lives to give me encouragement, love and prayers.

Reason, Season and Lifetime

People always come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.

They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are.

They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time,

this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die. Sometimes they just walk away.

Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand.

What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.

The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON,

it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.

They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.

They may teach you something you have never done.

They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.

Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall,

the season eventually ends.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;

those things you must build upon in order to have a solid

emotional foundation.

Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person/people (anyway);

and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life.

It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being part of my life.

I shall call it Random

2009-02-17T19:38:00.000-08:00

Because that is exactly what this post is.........Random!!

I haven't been very inspired with the blogging thing lately. Just don't think my life is that interesting right now.

But then I decided I was gonna post a picture of Cinderella's graduation dress and my new flip flops. Yes I said flip flops. I would wear them year round if the rain wouldn't make it impossible. I ordered a new pair that have inspired me with what my next tattoo will be. And just in case you are wondering it will be soon......

So I went and took pictures of the dress and flip flops and came back to the computer to download the pictures and noticed that there were pictures on the camera I did not take and had not been downloaded yet.

Guess who the pictures were of?? Just guess...come on you know you wanna play......
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Of course they are of Cinderella. She must have gotten a hold of the camera the last time she was here and we all know she L.O.V.E.S. taking pictures of herself. Of course I don't mind because they always turn out really good. She must have been having a good hair day here and that was why she took them. I think her hair looks great.

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And then as I said earlier I am going to get another tattoo real soon. I already have one. Of course no one sees this tattoo anymore because I don't wear shorts anymore. And believe you me.......no one wants to see this in shorts. But I got the tattoo 12 1/2 years ago and it was cute and I still think it's cute. I just want to get another one that can be seen but still covered in the same sense. I am very careful with this as I want to be able to cover it at work.

Here is the dress that I bought Cinderella to wear under her graduation gown. It's so cute. We got it from Forever 21 and it was reasonably priced too. She made me laugh the other day when she kept telling me that she was so nervous for graduation. I laughed and asked why. She said she was so worried about falling flat on her face. My response was to laugh and then say, maybe you shouldn't get 3 inch heels then. To which she made it very clear that the shoes were not the problem. "I can walk just fine in 3 inch heels Mom, I'm just worried with everyone looking at me that I will fall." I still was laughing at this point. All I said was not to worry that it all happens so fast she won't have time to fall.

So now onto my new flip flops. I love these. They are Sketcher Cali's. They are Hawaiian theme and make me wish I was back in Hawaii. On the heel is a butterfly and that is what will be my next tattoo. I am getting it on my right foot. I won't name names but I know someone won't be happy with this but I really want to do this. :) And you know you love me so it will be ok. :) These are so comfortable it makes me wish it would be sunny so I could wear them but Mother Nature has other ideas right now.

Still no internet.......But a darn good weekend!!!

2009-02-09T16:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, so we still don't have Internet at home and we won't have it until Wednesday. Thank goodness for my Blackberry and unlimited Internet service on there. I can still keep up with all my twitters. :)

Our weekend was one of the best weekends I have had with my kids in years. I don't know why but it just turned out so good.

I got off work early on Friday and went up to my ex-husbands house and picked up Cinderella. The Baseball Stud was at home waiting for his friends Mom to pick him up so he could go over to their house and hang out. Cinderella and I were going to the movies to see Twilight again. I know I know, we are totally addicted and it will be even worse when it finally comes out on DVD!! :) We went and bought our tickets for the 6:15pm showing and still had about an hour and twenty minutes to spare. So I took her to dinner at Out*Back. It was so nice to have it be just the two of us. I take the Baseball Stud out to dinner all the time but I don't get one on one time with Cinderella very often. We ordered our food and just sat and talked and ate. It was so nice. Then we headed back to the movie theatre and got some soda and candy and headed in to watch our favorite movie again.

We were able to find seats somewhat by ourselves and just sat back and enjoyed. We kept giggling as we were saying lines back and forth to each other. Then she almost screamed out loud when she realized (I already knew) that in the second restaurant scene after Bella walks in and sits down with her Dad, the waitress serves a garden burger to Stephanie Meyer who is the author of the Twilight series. There were quite a few gasps in the audience as I'm guessing others didn't realize she was in the movie. It was so funny. We had so much fun.

After the movie we went to go pick up Ty but he had decided he wanted to stay the night so we just grabbed the house key from him and went home. I think Cinderella was really bored because we had no Internet, of course that could be why it was such a great weekend.

On Saturday Cinderella and I hung out in the morning watching Pirates of the Caribbean 3 and were thoroughly confused by the movie. It was definitely funny and a good movie it was just really confusing. I then had to go pick up the Baseball Stud and bring him home. That was the point that Cinderella decided she had had enough of the house and was going out with her BFF E. So after E came to pick her up it was just me and the Baseball Stud. We just pretty much vegged in front of the TVs. He had the front room TV where he could watch Nick and I was back in my room to watch the Nascar Budshoot Out, which my driver won!!!! :)

At that point Cinderella called and we all decided to meet at the bowling alley and hit the lanes. So me and 3 kids bowled like we were rock stars. Of course we had bumpers on our lane but we still had fun. It was the best 2 hours with all 3 of them!!!! Then everyone came home. We, meaning the Baseball Stud and me, were pretty tired. The girls hung out upstairs at a friends house until 11:30 and then came home and then giggled in their room probably until well after I fell asleep.

Everyone was so sweet to let me sleep in on Sunday. The Man even made french toast for all of us. The Baseball Stud had his first baseball practice of the season and Cinderella and I went to Blockbuster. She was so taken by the mention of Wuthering Heights in the Twilight series she decided to read it. Now she wanted to rent it and watch and she was gonna make me watch it with her. So we rented that and Wall-e and then got some lunch. We planted ourselves in my bedroom to watch it. We weren't gonna make the Man watch it since he was all embroiled in the Pro Bowl. It was a confusing movie at first but then it all evened out. I thought it was a good movie, although I would like to see the 1930's version of it too.

By the time that was all done the Baseball Stud was back from practice and we were eating dinner and then off to take Cinderella back to her Dad. I took her back alone instead of having the Baseball Stud go too. It gives us a little more one on one time together. It's hard to take her back when she says she hates it and doesn't want to go. But we are both counting down the 4 months until she comes back home.

When I got home we all watched the movie Wall-e. I don't know if any of you have seen it but it is the strangest, funniest and cutest movie. The Man fell asleep half way through it. But the Baseball Stud and I just kept watching and laughing. I got to see the last of the Grammy's then it was off to bed. I just kept lying there thinking what a wonderful weekend it had been. It definitely makes me so happy to be a Mom!!!!

Hope you all had a great weekend as well.

She Thinks I'm Cool.....That's Why

2009-02-06T13:27:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I have ever really talked about my relationship with Cinderella in depth before. She is my oldest and my one and only girl. From the time she was born until about the age of 9 she was the bestest. At age 9 the hormones and puberty kicked in and turned her into someone I didn't know. Well maybe I knew her, but that was mostly because it reminded me of myself at that age. Overnight it seemed like she had turned into this hideous back talker, attitude wearin girl that was once my sweet angel.

Then Jr High came and the whole I need to find myself through music. She started with the wearing black stuff and the black eyeliner and not talking to me unless I asked questions. And even then I was lucky if she said more than one or two words to me. We struggled.....A LOT!! She made some bad choices and learned from those mistakes.

Then came High School. Oh the glory of high school. I would never want to go back. She really struggled academically through the first two years. But she started to dress better and for the most part make better decisions. She started to talk to me more, however, we still had the attitude and back talk. It was during this time that I was struggling with how to handle her and her moods. After trying just about everything under the sun and the phone call from the Cops as my last straw, I spoke to her Dad about her going to live with him to finish High School. This single decision was the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life so far. And to be honest if I had it to do all over again I don't know that I would have done it.

You see, without going into boring detail, my kids Dad and I DO NOT get along. This isn't exactly by choice as much as I don't like being pushed around and ordered to do anything. I may have idiotically allowed that when I was 16 for a brief time but I am a very independent woman now. We have never seen eye to eye and I honestly don't think we ever will. I wish that we could have the same type of relationship that my parents had after they divorced but that is not in the cards for us.

Back to Cinderella and the reason for this nickname. She went to go live with her Dad and his wife and 2 boys the summer before her Jr year in high school. I just knew this was gonna be bad after that first summer there. Unlike my ex-husband I call my daughter on a very regular basis to see how she is doing and how school is. Not to mention that she and I email throughout the day. He never calls my son at my house. I can count on my hand the number of times he has called him in his 11 years. But I'm not one to tell him how to be a parent. She is expected at his house to clean, do laundry, fold said laundry for everyone, cook dinner, watch her brothers, do homework, clean everything and sometimes pick up her brother from school. How she has time to do her homework is beyond me. But mind she also has a night class on Wednesday nights. She doesn't get treated respectfully even though she is told to give respect to the adults in that house. She is constantly asking to come home but we've made it this far and I know it's all for the best. She only has until June and then she can come home the day she walks across the stage to get that diploma.

The one good thing that has happened over the last 2 years is that she realizes how good she had it at my house. You know hind sights 20/20. We have a much better relationship now then we have had in a LONG time. It's nice to know that we have made it through the rough parts and came out of it only partly scathed. She even has me liking the same stuff as her. I had bought her all the books from the Twilight series as Christmas presents, she had already read them all but wanted her own set to read over and over again. I paid for her to go see the movie with some friends when it came out as well. I had absolutely NO desire to read any of them or see the movie. But she kept pushin and pushin for me to read the first one. "Just read it Mom you'll totally love it" was what she kept saying. So I finally gave in. And I started reading the first book. OMGoodness it was a great book. So we talk about it all the time. I've gone on to read the rest of the series and re-read two of them again. I've also seen the movie twice and so has she. Now she wants to see it one more time before it comes out on DVD so we are going just the two of us tonight after I pick her up. It's so cool that we can do stuff like that together now. Because I remember not that long ago where she wouldn't be caught dead out in public with me. Now she calls me, emails me and wants to go do things together. She thinks I'm cool now. Something I was afraid would never happen. That we would never have this type of relationship. And one of the best parts is that I get to have the same great relationship with her best friend E because she thinks I'm cool too. I love them both.

So I may in some way regret making her go live with her Dad, but it has definitely made my relationship with her so MUCH better and I thank God every day for that much.

Name Calling

2009-02-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

I was over at my blogger friend Queen of Feisty's blog and saw this meme and decided that I would do my Friday Funnies with this. So here goes. If you decide to do it please let me know so I can come on over and check it out.

YOUR REAL NAME:
Becky

WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother and fathers middle names)
Heather Philip

NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's mother, father's mom)
Betty Fredamae

STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)
PapBe

DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
Pink Dog

SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Blue Dr Pepper

FLY NAME:(first letter of 1st name, last 2-3 letters of your last name)
Bnus

STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav cookie)
Mint Chocolate Chip Snickerdoodle

ROCK STAR NAME:(current pets name, current street name)
Cosmo Mary Lynn Lane

PEN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on)
Shady Countryside Way

YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 2-3 letters of real name plus izzle)
Becizzle

YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Cosmo

DANCER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Halo Kit Kat

Now your turn...

Mom, I'm Bored...........

2009-02-05T15:55:00.001-08:00

Since last November the Baseball Stud has been going home after school by himself instead of going to after school care. This was a very BIG decision for me and one that I waiver on every now and then.

My Cinderella was a latch key kid from the age of 9. However, I am a firm believer that girls are more responsible at this age then boys. And of course I tend to baby the Baseball Stud, ask anyone that knows me. But when things got tight it was decided that he would walk home after school and hang by himself. At first it was no big deal, I was already taking him to school every morning and the Man was usually home before me so he wasn't home by himself for to long.

Then he decided that he would rather ride his bike to and from school since it was faster. I was reluctant at first because.....well just because. But I went and bought him a bike lock anyways. Plus I did view this as me getting a little extra time in the mornings to be by myself.

Then a little less than a month ago the Man got a new job. It was awesome that he got it. But it meant that his hours would change drastically. So instead of being home before me, he was now coming home much later. This meant the Baseball Stud would now literally be by himself until I got home from work.

Now, it hasn't been so bad. However, Thursdays are the WORST. He gets out early from school every Thursday, this is to enable the teachers to have their trainings so that kids don't have to have random days off through out the school year. But on these Thursdays when he gets home at 1:30pm he's only good for about 3 hours and then the phone calls start.

"Moooommmmmm I'm bored" "Moooommmmmm I'm hungry" "Mooooommmmmmm I don't have anything to do"

These phone calls kill me!!!!!!!!!!!! He does his homework, watches TV and eats me out of house and home. I don't like him playing outside without me home so he is banished to the inside. And playing Playstation 2 and PSP can only go so far. He watches TV because this is really the only time that he can have the TV to himself. But the phone calls oh the phone calls.

I know baseball season is going to start up again real soon and I will have to look into putting him back into after school care to be near the baseball fields. But until then I am at a loss as to what he can do to keep himself busy on Thursday afternoons. I might look into him going to the after school program on Thursdays only. But I don't know if they will pick him up from school one day a week.

So my question for all you awesome bloggers out there..........Do you have any ideas as to what I can do to keep this guy entertained that he can do himself???? Any ideas will be appreciated.

Wednesday's Woo to the Hoo.......

2009-02-04T14:52:00.000-08:00

I have only one thing to really give a Woo to the Hoo today......... Today is my anniversary with the Man. We have been together for 9 years. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it's been that long. The last 3 years have been the best. Maybe that's because we got engaged and he moved in. It's so nice having him near me every day. He is an amazing guy who loves me unconditionally as well me loving him the same. He is a great father figure to both my kids. No surprise there that my kids love him more than there own Dad. He takes care of us and provides for us.

He is so much fun to watch sports with and I know he can answer any sports question I have. If any of you have ever seen the ESPN show Stump the Schwab, that is how knowledgeable my Man is. No joke. You wanna know who played in the Super Bowl and who won and what the score was, just give him the year and he can tell you. It's crazy fun.

He is the man who taught me what it was like to be treated like a woman should, respected the way a woman should and how to feel like the most important person in the world.

So today I am giving him my Woo to the Hoo for being the best thing that has happened to me since becoming a Mom. I love you baby with all my heart.

A New Year.......Woo to the Hoo!!!!

2009-01-27T21:42:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I will be the first to admit that it has been a long time since I have done a post. I feel bad about it too. So I'm hoping that all my followers will forgive me.....all 2 of you!!! Just kidding. I've missed reading everyone's blogs and leaving all my comment lovin.

I have been able to keep up with most of those who are on blogger through twitter but I've come to realize that it's not the same and I really do miss my blog. Plus one of my really really cool twitter friends finally caved in and started her own blog so I figured I better get back to it. I'm very excited that Sheli has started her own blog and you can check it out here.

Another good reason to start blogging again is my other good bloggin friend Feather, and yes that is her real name. Over on twitter she started this new saying Woo to the Hoo!!!! It was very catchy and all of us started to use it on a regular basis when we wanted to exclaim how excited we were. Well another one of our cool bloggin friends Marchelle created a really cool looking button for it and so now Feather has started Woo to the Hoo Wednesdays. We can give out the button to others we think deserve it.

I personally think that all those who read my blog and have left me encouraging comments over the last month or so asking about me and if all was okay deserve this button. Because even though I wasn't here regularly you still came by and commented to let me know you were thinking about me and missed seeing me around. I can't begin to tell you how much that meant to me. I do miss this and will definitely make a conscience effort to keep it up.

So if you are reading this blog right now, please feel free to grab this button as my token to you, that you are all definitely Woo to the Hoo for sticking it out and checking in on my and making sure that everything was okay.

I'm back and all is right with the world!!!!!!!!!

Merry Christmas to All......

2008-12-25T09:13:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone.

I haven't been blogging lately and I apologize. A lot of things have been going on.

First and foremost my man got a new job. We are so excited about this and I mean beyond belief excited. He has already put in his two week notice and will leave his current job on January 6th and then have about a week off before he starts his new job on the 13th. This new job is at a private golf club and will be more of a challenge which he is looking forward too.

We've also arrived at Christmas day. Things were a lot different this year and a lot smaller. But the kids were very excited about what they got. I would have gotten a lot of pictures but I was stupid and bought batteries from the dollar store, not good for camera's. They died after I took about 4 pictures. The boy just came over to me and said that he got so many cool things and loved them all. One of the gifts I got the girl was the complete series of Twilight books. She has already read them and seen the first movie but she had to borrow the books and she loves re-reading books all the time. So she was very excited to see them when she opened them up.

So now we are watching the Christmas parade and eating cinnamon rolls and relaxing. Christmas dinner will be later and then I think I will be all fooded out, if that's even a word.

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas with your families.

Happy Birthday to My Boy

2008-12-15T00:01:00.000-08:00

Today is my boy's 11th birthday. I can't believe how time flies. It seems like just yesterday he was my little baby boy. Now he won't even kiss me good bye when I drop him off at school in the morning.

It was 11 years ago today at 12:19pm that this boy entered the world in the most emergency way possible. He was 10 days late and I was ready but he still wasn't. I had a procedure done in the doctors office the Friday before he was born and the doc said that it would take 72 hours to get everything started. Boy was he right!!!! Long story short, I had to take an ambulance to the hospital and then almost had to have a c-section. But all worked out okay and he came screaming into the world.

Two days later I brought him home with the girl and I. Sat down and then cried wondering how I was gonna do it all by myself. But I've managed and they both have turned out good.

My boy is a star baseball player and is a complete lover of sports in general. He is one smart boy and is getting smarter every day. He has grown up a lot over the last year and I couldn't be more proud of him.

So today we celebrate him: the cool, handsome, smart and athletic wonder boy who is 11. I love you mucca more than life. :-)

Weekend Wrap Up.....

2008-12-14T17:24:00.000-08:00

We had the boy's 11th birthday party today at John's Incredible Pizza. If you aren't familiar with what John's Incredible Pizza is just think of Chuck E Cheese on steroids. It's intense with some cool rides. His real birthday is tomorrow.

It was the boy and 11 of his friends plus me, my bestest friend Jen and my ex Mother-in-law who was able to make it. The girl was supposed to be there but because of incremental weather at her Dad's house he wanted to get her early and so wouldn't let her stay for the party. Jerk!!! But that's all I will say about that.

The party was fun, the kids ate first. It's all you can eat buffet. While the kids were eating the birthday host was making cool balloon animals for them. After eating it was time to play some games. If you click on the photo above you can see everything closer. They played extreme limbo and extreme musical chairs which the birthday boy won.

After that he got to open presents and then we had cake. It was really loud in there but at least I had some adults to hang out with. After that the kids were set loose inside the place to play to their hearts content. We managed to get out of there 3 hours after everything started. Not bad.
We headed off to Toys R Us because the boy had some money and gift cards burning a hole in his pocket. He had enough to buy himself a brand new Nintendo DS. Something he has wanted forever. And he felt really cool that could buy it himself. Then we headed over to Target to buy a game with another gift card he had. By this point my feet were killing me and I was ready to go home.

So now we are hunkered down for the night, it's freezing outside and the snow level is due to drop down to 1500 feet tonight and tomorrow. That's only about 45 minutes away from us. I have a feeling that the girl will have a snow day either tomorrow or the next day. Which she doesn't want with the finals she has this week.

Our weekend wasn't to eventful other than that. Beth babysat last night for my bestest friend in the world and the boy and I went to get me and the girl new cell phones. That's right, I am back from the dead among the living with a cell phone again. It feels good.
I hope you all have a wonderful and safe weekend.

100 Things

2008-12-11T00:01:00.000-08:00

I saw this cute list and idea from my friend Jennifer over at My Life with Four Kids. It looked like fun so I decided to try it. Plus it's always fun when you can get to know each better.

RULES: There are 100 statements and you bold the ones you have done. Grab it and play for yourself!!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band - Does elementary school band count
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity.
7. Been to DisneyWorld
8. Climbed a mountain.
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept in an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked - Um no....hello didn't you ever watch those scary movies!!!!
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise - Um again no.....didn't anyone see Titanic!!!!
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors - Definitely on my list of things to do before I die
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke - And it was NOT pretty!!!!
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies - Top seller in my brownie troop!!!
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp - Because of my ancestry definitely on my to do list
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar.
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chicken pox
89. Saved someones life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

Ok, obviously if you read the entire list you will see that some numbers are missing. Not sure where they are what they were. But please play along if you would like to, let me know so I can come read yours.

Just a little update

2008-12-10T16:08:00.000-08:00

I am so freakin tired of being SICK!!!! I woke up this morning starting to feel icky again and I haven't stopped sneezing since last night. I feel like the picture above at my desk right now.

My eyes are blood shot and I can't feel the tip of my nose anymore. I personally believe my nose has a vendetta against me. Can some one please just put me out of misery!!!!! I'm pretty sure I look as bad as the guy below.

Just Something to Make You All Laugh

2008-12-10T00:01:00.000-08:00

I think it's safe to say I'M BACK!!! It's been awhile and I feel bad. I'm trying very hard to catch up with everyone and it's safe to say that will take awhile. In the meantime I thought I would put a smile on all your faces. Cuz I feel bad and all.

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity ....

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. Funny and you know it!!!!!

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice !

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso. This would be fun to try but I don't think I could handle all the grumpy people at work. :-)

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.'

6. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy.'

7. Skip down the hall rather than Walk and see how many looks you get. I'm so gonna do this one.

8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

9 . Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go.'

10. Sing Along At The Opera.

11. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

12. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!' I'm on this. I would love to see all the peoples reactions!!!!

14. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!' Just thinking about this one makes me laugh out loud everytime!!!!

15. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

It's Called. THERAPY

Hope you all have a great Wednesday....... Wordless Wednesday will be back next week.

Happy Birthday to the One I Love!!!!!!!

2008-12-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

Okay Okay.....I know it's been a long time since I have updated. A lot of stuff going on in my little head. But I knew I had to make sure to blog today for a very special reason.

Today is my Man's birthday. I will hold back his age because that is the proper thing to do. This man is the love of my life. He has taught me what it is like to be treated like a princess. I think in the 8 years that we have been together we had one fight and it was resolved pretty quickly. He is my big teddy bear and loves to make me laugh. If I am ever having a bad day all I have to do is call him up and he will do whatever it takes to put a smile on my face. He has been there for me through thick and thin, through all the crap that I have to deal with with my ex-husband. He is very supportive. He cooks some mean dinners and doesn't complain once about it. And when I get lazy and don't do my end of the bargain and do the dishes he will step up and do that too. He makes every day that we are together special. And even though I don't agree with his TV show choices I still love him lots. :-)

He has excepted my kids and treats them very good. If you asked my children what they thought of him they would tell you that they loved him. The boy and my man have a close sports bond. Something the boy loves. He knows he can always talk sports with him and that he always has the answers. The girl's relationship with him started rocky but it's so much better now. She really likes him and is glad that he is in our lives.

This man has been so amazing to me over the last 8 years and I look forward to so many more years together. I love him dearly and hope that he has a wonderful birthday. Don't worry about dinner tonight babe, I got it covered!!!!! :-)

And all good things must come to an end......

2008-11-30T22:23:00.000-08:00

Well our Thanksgiving was great, aside from me getting the crappy cold of a lifetime right in the middle of it all. I felt it first thing Thanksgiving morning. I couldn't stop sneezing and the pressure in my head was HUGE!!! But I pushed forward and we did Thanksgiving.

But Friday morning I felt dead. It was horrible. I had plans.....did my body know this. Yes it did and you know what it didn't give a crap. I had promised and bought my girl and her friend tickets to the movie Twilight. So I managed to get in the car to take them. My man was wonderful and stopped to get me some cough syrup on his way home from work. Every time I coughed it felt like someone had punched me straight in the chest. Not the best feeling in the world.

The boy and I were supposed to join my Brother and his family and go over to one of his best friend's Mom's house. Did that just make sense?? But I knew after taking my temp and having a low grade fever that it was NOT the best thing for me to do. But it really bummed me out. They were supposed to go out for drinks after they hung out and some of my other friends were going to possibly join us. I slept most of Friday, the boy had a hard time with that. He was bored and made sleeping a little impossible. Once a mother always a mother. No sick days allowed. :-) I called my Brother and said that I might still go out for drinks if they did. I just hated that I couldn't spend time with him and the family on their last day here. But going out for drinks was no where in the cards for me. It should make me feel better that they didn't go out for drinks but it doesn't. I missed precious time with them and that just makes me sad. I did talk to him and we agreed that the boy and I would come over to have breakfast with them on Saturday morning before they left.

The girl had her friend over to stay the night and they were still sleeping when we left. So the boy and I went over and had breakfast and visited as much as we could before they left. I got some more pictures of the boys of course.

It was nice to spend a little extra time before they left to go home. We are really hoping and praying that they will be able to come out again in June for the girl's graduation and a close friend's wedding.

After they left the boy and I went home and then got ready to go see a movie. I had been promising him to go see Madagascar 2 and I really wanted to see it too. We managed to catch a 2:40 showing after having to find another theatre because the first one was sold out. The movie was funny and cute, not as good as the first one but isn't that the way it always is.

Then we came home and chilled for the night. I was pooped and still not feeling 100%. Thank goodness everyone let me sleep in today. I slept until close to 11. It felt so good. Thank you to my man for getting breakfast so I didn't have to worry about it. The boy had one last baseball mini camp today so the girl and I dropped him off at 2pm and headed out to run some errands. And when I say run errands I mean shop. I was trying to find her some reasonable shoes and Payle$$ was having it's BOGO sale and who doesn't love that. Well besides some heels that she liked we didn't see anything. I just can't justify buying her heels when she doesn't have anywhere to wear them. We then headed over to Famous and they were having the same kind of sale. The girl wears a size 5 in woman's and it is NOT easy to find her shoes. We left there empty handed too. We then went over to Ro$$ and looked at what they had. No shoes but we did leave with 3 cute shirts, all under $25 which isn't bad. She did try on some jackets though and we took this picture of one of the really cute ones she tried on. I'm thinking a Christmas gift out of one of them. What do you think of this one????

After shopping it was time to take her back to her Dad. She had a long weekend with us being here since Wednesday and today was a great way to end the weekend.

So that was our long Thanksgiving weekend in a nut shell. Now we are gearing up for the Man's birthday and then the Boy's birthday. Then Christmas of course. Man I don't even want to think of that just yet!!!! I hope you all had a wonderful and magical holiday. I'm still not feeling 100% and my ears are still plugged and the coughing is horrible but I'm gonna give it till tomorrow and then call the doc. I am going to catch up on every one's blogs this week if it's the last thing I do. ♥

And so it starts............

2008-11-28T03:36:00.000-08:00

It's 3:30am and I am up. Not willingly of course. I'M SICK!!!!!!!!!

I woke up on Thanksgiving morning not feeling to hot. I just couldn't stop sneezing. I mean seriously one right after another. My nose is now raw around it from wiping and blowing. Probably to much TMI there right??? I don't care....I don't feel good.

We needed to leave the house here by 1pm to get over to my brother's in-laws with enough time to chill out before dinner at 2pm. We made it out of here around 12:45 or so. My man had to work today, the golf business is hopping on Thanksgiving when all the men escape the house while the women cook. Plus my man is generous enough to work so his employees can be with their families. This meant that he wouldn't be joining us for Thanksgiving dinner. But don't worry I took care of him. I brought him home a big plate of food.

We had a really good time of family and food at my brother's in-laws. It's always loud and fun and the food is always phenomenal. We watched some football of course, can't have Thanksgiving without it. We even watched a Jeff Dunham Christmas video and it was hilarious. If you don't know of him then you must look him up on YouTube because he is stinkin hilarious!!!!

I managed to push through the day by taking some meds when I got to their house and some Tylenol too. By the time we came home I was done. The boy was pretty tired and only lasted about 15 min before he fell asleep. The girl caught up on the Internet for awhile. I drugged myself and laid down. The man had been asleep for awhile since he has to go to work at the butt crack of dawn. But now here I am awake and not feeling good at all. My whole body aches and every time I sneeze my entire body hurts. Not good timing at all. I have one more day with my brother and his family before they leave to go home. So tomorrow I will be hanging out with them again. I'm hoping that I will make it through long enough to sleep the rest of the weekend. God willing the kids let me.

So here are some pictures from our Thanksgiving day.

Ok, now I'm gonna try and go back to sleep so that I can at least function later today.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-27T08:59:00.000-08:00

For the brief moment my girl has let me use the computer I wanted to wish you all a VERY Happy Thanksgiving!!!! I hope you are all having a wonderful time with your family and friends.

And before I go I wanted to share with all of you wonderful people some of my daughter's senior portraits that her Dad had done. Miraculously he actually let me have a couple. I'm still having my own done for her especially now that she cut her hair.

Of course I am taking a picture of a picture so it looks kinda grainy. I'll be doing my own senior portraits for her right after the new year. That way she can change clothes and styles and I can let her express herself.

Have a great Turkey Day everyone!!!!!!!!!

Wordful Wednesday

2008-11-26T09:00:00.000-08:00

I'm doing something a little different this Wednesday. I usually do Wordless Wednesday but with my brother and his family here this week I have some pictures but I want to tell about the pictures. So here we go.

I went to my brother's in laws last night after work for dinner and to hang out. My sister-in-love had gone out to dinner with friends for part of the time. And her Mom watches her brothers kids so it was a circus to say the least. There were 6 little boys 10 and under and then one little girl who was 9. I get to go get my girl this afternoon.

This is my boy and the my oldest nephew playing Nintendo DS. I don't think my boy let go of that thing more than 5 minutes last night.

Here is the sweet baby nephew. At least he remembered who I was when I came in.

This is another nephew by marriage. He's pretty funny.

And this is his baby brother. You can't tell me that this picture is just the sweetest thing.

Here are 4 of the boys watching Lord of the Bean....Veggie Tales... The name of the movie cracked me up.

Here is my nephew making a Christmas ornament that he then gave to me to put on my Christmas tree and I will proudly display it this year.Here is my baby nephew and me. I just love this kid.Here is my nephew and my brother.This is my sister-in-love and her Dad.And just for good measure here is my baby nephew again in his PJ's and with the school bus.

I will have so many more pictures to come this week. I hope you have a wonderful Wednesday and to check out more Wordful Wednesday you can go over here.

Toast to Tuesday

2008-11-25T18:04:00.001-08:00

This is a GREAT Tuesday to toast to.

My Brother and his family are here for the week, can you ask for anything more.

Here we are at lunch today, minus the baby nephew and of course my girl who is still in school.

I am also toasting to a great Thanksgiving with family and friends. I hope you all have a wonderful holiday with all of your families and friends.

Manic Monday

2008-11-24T14:16:00.000-08:00

Do you ever talk to yourself out loud? Yes I do, and the scary part is I usually answer myself too. What do you talk about? I'm not sure I really pay close attention when I am talking to myself to realize what I'm exactly talking about. It usually happens when I'm stressed out or want to say something to someone and don't have the nerve to say it out loud.

What stresses you out? Money, who isn't stressed out about that. My ex-husband is really close to the top of my list. A lot of stuff I stress out about is stuff I also worry about, you know the stuff that is completely out of my control. It's a little gift I learned from my Grandma. I just love her so dearly for this gift that keeps on giving. NOT!!

What are your secret talents? Well lets see......this is at least a PG rated blog so I really can't tell what my secret talents are.........Oh you mean those talents. Well if I told you I would have to kill ya. That's why they are called SECRET!!!! :-)

If you want to play Manic Monday you can go here.

P.S. I have been really behind in my blog reading...sorry peeps. It's gonna be really hard to catch up since my brother and his family are here for the week but I promise to try my hardest. I hope you all have a wonderful Monday.

Friday Funnies.......Kid Style

2008-11-21T06:00:00.000-08:00

Today I am going to feature some jokes as told by my boy. He's quite the comedian. He gets it from the man.

What kind of car does Luke Skywalker drive?
A Toyoda........get it Toyota

Why did the boy throw his clock outside the window?
To see time fly..........of course of course.

Why did the boy throw the butter out the window?
To see a butterfly

What's cooler than seeing a cat fish?
Seeing a gold fish bowl......get it bowling down the lane.

He cracks me up on a daily basis and always brings a smile to my face.

The Letter "C"

2008-11-20T17:52:00.000-08:00

My friend Jennifer at My Life with Four Kids has a post with 10 things that she loves, but with a twist! The twist is that they all have to start with the same letter! Her chosen letter is "L"! She asked if anyone wanted to play along and I said "SURE!" So, she gave me "C"! Here's my list! O.K. Actually it was supposed to be favorite things, but things you love is pretty much the same, right?!

Ok, so here are my 10 things I love starting with the letter "C". In no particular order.

1. Christ
2. Christmas, my absolute favorite holiday
3. Chubby Cheeks on babies, you just want to pinch them
4. Carmel Apples, love going to this little place called Apple Hill near us in the country. It's so picturesque
5. Candy, aw come on who doesn't
6. Crepes, I love these for breakfast
7. Camera, I couldn't live without the cool new camera my Mom bought me.
8. Comedy, any comedy movie is the best. I love watching stuff that makes me laugh and I mean really laugh like almost pee your pants laugh
9. Corn, my absolute favorite veggie of all time
10. Cream Cheese, I am a freak for this stuff. I mean seriously anyway it comes I love this stuff.

So there is my list. If you would like to play too just let me know and I will be happy to pass along a letter to you.

I'm Feelin the Love ♥

2008-11-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

Two of my really good bloggy friends have bestowed awards upon me. I just love getting awards, it's so nice to know the friendships that have been created because of this wonderful blog world. So here they are.

This one is from Jenny over at Daily Dose of Motherhood.

She is so amazing. She was one of the first people to check out my blog and show the comment lovin. She always knows how to make me smile and her pictures are amazing.

This next one is from Heidi over at Adventure Girl Wanna Be

She is awesome too. I met her a couple months back and I just love her positive outlook on everything. She also takes amazing pictures.

So now I want to share these awards with all my bloggy friends. If you are reading my blog you are friend. Please take one of the above awards and cherish it just like I have. I ♥ you all and love reading all your blogs so you all deserve it!!!!

Oh What a Morning....

2008-11-20T11:06:00.000-08:00

So this morning started off great. The boy and I left the house a couple minutes early and I went and dropped him off and headed to get gas. That was definitely a high light for me today. It cost me $26.50 to fill up my tank on empty. Gas was $1.99 and that is the lowest I have paid in years. It's scary wondering how long it will be before it goes back up again.

Then I headed over to my bestest friends house to pick her up for work. You can read her blog here to see why I am driving her to work. I'm just glad she is okay, although she swears the world is out to get her. And this morning I kinda for a second thought she might be right and that I was caught up in it too. But only for a second because I knew what happened this morning was clearly my fault.

After I picked up Jen we were on our way groovin to the music. I came up on a light that was red and stopped just a nano second before going ahead and making the right turn before the cars got off their white line for their green light. I was trying to race the corner. After I made that turn while Jen was telling me the pedestrian had right of way and me saying I know I know, I could see him in my rear view mirror. Damn it!!! I knew I was gonna be pulled over. I could see him going around cars and then driving in the suicide lane to get to me. Next thing you know he's behind me with his lights flashing. Damn it!!!!!!

Now let me explain, my registration tags show expired on my car. I paid my renewal in September and just had to get it smogged and for various reasons I wasn't able to do that until this last weekend. So when our nice officer came up to my window I provided him with all necessary info. He asked me if I knew why he pulled me over and I answered yes sir. Because we're all about manners. He took my info back to his car and Jen and I sat there waiting for him. She had to call work to let them know we would be late and then I said wouldn't it be funny if I had some kind of bench warrant and they had to arrest me. Her first reaction was I would totally take pictures and post it on her blog the minute she got to work in my car. But I have never been pulled over and gotten a ticket prior to this. So we were in the clear for that. Still makes you nervous waiting for them to come back to your car. So eventually he came back to the car and told me he was giving me a warning for the red light violation (thank you God) and that my ticket was for expired tags. I asked if the DMV system showed that it was paid and I showed him my smog info. He said that it showed as non paid. How much is that ticket gonna be????

So we got to work and I looked up the info on the cost of the ticket with Jeff's help. The ticket itself is $201.00, money I do not have. I called DMV to see if they had record of my payment for the registration and the information on my smog from last weekend. I explained to the girl at DMV that I had gotten a ticket this morning. What she said next made my day. She said they had all the info they needed and that I could come in and pick up my tags and they would sign off my ticket so I wouldn't have to pay it. Or I could have the tags mailed to me. Um thanks but I think I will come in so they can sign my ticket. Thank goodness they had all my info. So tomorrow I will go and get in line at DMV at 7:30am and wait for them to open at 8am and hope that my wait won't be that long.

I'm thinking the rest of my day should be good!!!!!!! And no Jen, it isn't your Karma that got us this morning, it was my clear stupidity.

Really Cool Giveaway

2008-11-19T16:17:00.000-08:00

So my new bloggy friend Mc Allen is having an awesome giveaway. Here is the awesome prize she is giving away.

All you have to do is go onto her website using the link above and read all the awesome rules. I do know that it requires you to check out some of the cool blogs on her blogroll. What a great way to meet new bloggy friends.

She also points out on this post that we all need to vote for Keli who entered the Prego contest on 5 minutes for Mom blog. Keli is a finalist and of course we all want her to win. You can go here and then vote for #13 that's her little celebrity in the photo.

So go peeps, run fast and don't look back.....fun to be had by all!!!!!!!!

Wordless Wednesday......Football Fun

2008-11-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

For more Wordless Wednesday fun go here and here

Toast to Tuesday...

2008-11-18T09:09:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful Tuesday. I am counting down the days to Thanksgiving and being able to see family. Here are the things I want to toast to today.

Seeing my brother & his family in less than a week

The Thanksgiving holiday with family

The continued warm weather (while it lasts)

That no one has died from the devastating fires in So Cal

That my Step-Dad is going to see his daughter her family for Thanksgiving

For an awesome weekend with my family

For a girls night with my girl

For a wonderful dinner date with my man for my birthday

What are you toasting to today????

Weekend Wrap Up.....

2008-11-16T21:17:00.000-08:00

This weekend has been one of the best in a long time. I'll preface this by saying sometimes when the girl comes home for the weekend it can be a little rough. Well not this weekend.

Friday night the boy and I went and picked her up at the Wally World where her Dad and Step-Mom were shopping. Thank goodness she had her stuff with her and we could leave right away. We went home and just hung out. It was nothing big for Friday night. She ended up sleeping in my bed with me which was kinda sweet. Haven't done that since she was a little girl.

Saturday was supposed to be kinda busy but we just kinda hung around. We did go out and get my car smogged and grabbed lunch. When we came back the boy went out to play with some friends and the girl was glued to the computer. I had to get ready for my big dinner date. The girl thought it would be nice to pick out what my man and I were going to wear. Kinda color coordinate. We had to leave in a hurry so we weren't able to get any pictures of us. We left and went to meet my bestest friend since she watching the boy for me. We then headed out to dinner at Morton's. It was an amazing dinner. I ordered the lump crab cakes and my man had the NY strip steak. We actually had to bring home part of our dinner because we were so full, but not full enough for dessert which was Creme' brulee. Oh it was all to die for.

We then went and picked up the boy and headed home. When we got home I took the kids out to get a bite to eat for them. When we got home they ate and then the boy was out like a light. The girl and I decided to play around. I let her do my make-up and then take pictures of me that she could enhance with our photo program. She does it all the time with her photo's and wanted to do it with me. So here are the pictures that took of herself first and then of me and then one of us together.

Then after I let her do all of that she let me paint her nails. A real girls night. I think they turned out great.

I just love those crooked little pinky fingers she got from her Grandma.

On Sunday morning the girl walked over to the donut shop with her brother so I could sleep a little longer. Loved it!!!!!!! Then we hung out in the morning and played around. More like the boy played football in my bedroom while I watched football and the girl talked to her new boyfriend on the phone.

And there my pictures won't work anymore. I had some of the boy but can't seem to get them posted here.

Later on Sunday afternoon the boy had baseball practice and the girl and I went off to shop and the dreadful Wally World. Dreadful I say because I can never get out of there with only what's on my list. But it was so cool for the two of us to go and do it together. We spent almost 2 hours there together and had a lot of fun. We got home in just enough time to unpack the groceries and then take her back up to her Dad.

When I came home I found a note on the computer desk from the girl that said this:

Hey Mom, I love you very much. I just wanted you to know that I had fun today doing your make-up and painting my nails. (She obviously wrote it last night). I love you, Girl. P.S. Thank you very much for the purse.

It made my heart melt to see the note. I had given her a Coach purse that I received as a gift but would have never used because of the style. I was going to give it to her for Christmas but she found it in my closet when she was picking out our clothes. It was just so nice to have a weekend like we did. Sometimes it's a struggle here and we butt heads constantly. But this weekend is what I have always dreamed about when she comes home and it was made the best by her. I made sure to thank her very much for making it a great weekend.

A Cool Giveaway!!!!!

2008-11-13T21:06:00.000-08:00

I have been meaning to post about this cool giveaway that my bloggy friend Jenny is having over on her blog. She has started up a candle business and the website she has up may be temporary but the full website will be up in the next couple of weeks. She is raring to go and is doing a really cool giveaway. So hop on over there and check her out. Click here and you can see it all.

What a Great Day!!!!

2008-11-13T12:53:00.000-08:00

Edited to show pictures from today....

This morning I was woken I think a little before 5am with a kiss and a Happy Birthday wish. My awesome man was the first one to say it. I love him for that.

After asking for a bowl of ceral my boy was the next. The ceral is obviously more important at that time in the morning.

I checked email and had a wonderful message from Katrina sending loving well wishes my way.
I walked into my office with my cubicle completely decorated. I will post pictures later. I had a voice mail on my phone from my man telling me Happy Birthday again.

The first picture above is my cubicle, notice the yummy lemon bars on the corner. See, I shared. The next pic is the ceiling above me. The last picture is my co-worker Valerie who's birthday is tomorrow.

One of my co-workers Susan had made me Lemon squares, I shared and they were so good. My bestest friend in the whole world Jen came to my desk, cause yea we work at the same place and brought me a Pumpkin Spice Latte, ooohhhhh I so love her for that. She even posted on her blog about today which made me cry.

I got another email from my bloggy friend Jenny with an ecard. So very sweet. Then my daughter called me from school, her Grandma came by to see her and let her use her cell to call me. So sweet. Last year she actually sent me a text message with all her friends singing me Happy Birthday.

Both Jen and Katrina have blogged about my Birthday and my man even left me a comment on yesterdays post to say it again.

I will be going to lunch today with some friends for Sushi and I can't wait. And this afternoon we will be having Ice Cream cake here.

Here is Valerie stuffing a bite of her roll in her mouth

Here I am stuffing a bite of my roll in my mouth. Oh how I love Mikuni Sushi

Here is me and my bestest friend in the whole world Jen at lunch.

And yes that is a beer bottle in front of us.

I so feel the love today and appreciate it so much. I had a great day today.

Then tonight when I got home dinner was ready and it was Turkey roast, mashed red potatoes and corn. After dinner I openned my cards from my two boys, loved them. Then after dinner while I was at the computer my two favorite boys brought me a Marie Calendars Lemon Cheesecake pie with candles singing Happy Birthday. Good end to a good day.

Wordless Wednesday

2008-11-12T07:51:00.000-08:00

Flash the amazing dog...

For more Wordless Wednesday fun go here or here.

Toast to Tuesday... Remembering

2008-11-11T13:38:00.001-08:00

There is only one thing I want to Toast to today......

I want to say THANK YOU to all the men and women in branches of the military for all that they have done; past, present and future.

An Award and Ants in Your Pants

2008-11-10T21:18:00.000-08:00

Well not literally with the ants in your pants. But do you ever have one of those days where you just can't sit still. I so had one of those days today. It might be from knowing that I have tomorrow off from work. It could be that I was feeling really goofy today too. It was just one of those days where you wanted to dance to the music and sing out loud. However, I don't think my co-workers would have appreciated it at all.

I was also graced today with an award from a really new bloggy friend. Jennifer over at My Life with Four Kids gave me this award.

I love getting awards and really love spreading the love. So here are the rules to go along with this one.

1. Name 5 things you love

2. Pass the award on to 5 blogs you love

3. Link back to the giver's blog and tell how fabulous they are.

Well I can tell you that Jennifer is great. I stumbled onto her blog from comments on other blogs I read and was drawn in immediately. She has four very beautiful kids and is an hilarious read. She definitely makes me smile.

So here are the 5 things I am thankful for.

1. I love my family. My daughter is one of the reasons I am here today. She doesn't know how important she was to me the day she came into my life but I try and tell her as much as possible. My son is the second miracle in my life and brings out the tomboy in me daily. My Dad was so important to me in the 20 years he was in my life. I miss him more and more every day. My Mom keeps me grounded, more so in my childhood. :-) She reminds me to keep my feet on the ground. My man is my love every day. He taught me so much that no one ever has. And I love him every day for it.

2. I love my friends. I have a handful of friends that are privy to my inner workings and my heart. They mean the world to me and keep me sane. I love them like sisters and my bestest friend I have known for 22 years, she is my rock and I couldn't live life without her. My new bloggy friends are the world to me. They read everything I say and show me so much comment love. They are the reason I write every day. I love reading about them and their families and get to know them more and more every day.

3. I love my freedom each and every day. I am thankful for my right to believe what I want and to have a choice in which way my life goes. To all the service men and women I am thankful, to all the veterans I am thankful. Please see my post later on Toast to Tuesday.

4. I love my wonderful job that I have. To know that I am helping people every day in one way or another is what it's all about.

5. I love that I can now share this awesome award with my bloggy friends.

So here are the 5 friends I would like to share the love with.

Too Much Information - This is amazing blog. She has a beautiful daughter and great outlook on life. She is so much fun to read and I love her pictures of her girl.

Lo Foolery - She is amazing. She is going through a lot lately and still has an amazing outlook on life. She is a joy to read on a daily basis.

Ang over at Your Davisix Fix - I just loved Ang's blog the moment I read it. She has four very beautiful things. :-) I twitter with her as well and she always and I mean always makes me smile. She is a very good woman.

Meaghan over at I Kicked Cancers Ass - This girl is one of my hero's. She is fought the great battle with cancer and she won. She feels that it's so important to make others aware and is making it her life mission and I know we are all thankful for it.

Bobbie over at Mom2Dm - I love her blog. I love the way it looks and especially love the music she plays on it. She has beautiful kids and is so funny to read. She definitely puts a smile on my face.

Manic Monday

2008-11-10T09:20:00.000-08:00

What was the first thing you thought when you looked at yourself in the mirror today? I look like crap. In my defense I didn't sleep so good last night so it definitely looked like it on my face.

Do you have a recurring nightmare? If so, explain. I don't have recurring nightmares as much as I have recurring scares where I fall. I always wake up prior to hitting the ground, except for one time. In this scare I actually fell and hit the ground but I didn't die. It was weird because I always thought that it was said if you hit the ground it meant you would die. I know I woke up in a sweat.

List three foods you can’t stand: Peas, Beets, Liver

For more Manic Monday fun go here.

Saturday Thoughts.....

2008-11-08T15:13:00.001-08:00

I just can't seem to get away from thoughts lately about my girl graduating high school and growing up. It probably didn't help that I found a lot of old photos this past week of her as a really little girl. Wishing I could scan those and get them into the computer.

But lately it's really hit me how much she has grown up. She turned 17 last month and the months seem to be flying by getting closer and closer to June when she will graduate. It seems to always bring me to this song by Brad Paisley called "Letter to Me". When this song first played on the radio and I heard I immediately thought of my girl. Even though the song is clearly directed to a man or boy. The words hit me hard, and every time it came on the radio and she was in the car with me I would look over to her and tell her this is my song to her.

I can't embed the video here in my blog but I thought I would take a moment and write out the words to it. I look over the words and watch the video and think a lot of her and of me too. Wishing I could go back and savor some of those moments. Especially with those family members that are no longer here, especially my Dad. I hope that she learns to savor every moment she has along the way to becoming an adult and savors all those relationships along the way. So here are the words to the song and a link to the video on YouTube. I hope you can take a moment to go over there and watch it. I'm sure we all wish we could write a letter to ourselves.

"Letter to Me"

If I could write a letter to me

And send it back in time to myself at 17

First I'd prove it's me by saying look under your bed

There's a Skoal can and a Playboy no one else would know you hid

And then I'd say I know it's tough

When you break up after seven months

And yea I know you really liked her and it just don't seem fair

All I can say is pain like that is fast and it's rare

And oh you got so much going for you going right

But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night

She wasn't right for you

And still you feel like there's a knife sticking out of your back

And you're wondering if you'll survive

You'll make it through this and you'll see

You're still around to write this letter to me

At the stop sign at Tomlinson and Eighth

Always stop completely don't just tap your breaks

And when you get a date with Bridgett makes sure the tank is full

On second thought forget it that one turns out kinda cool

Each and every time you have fight

Just assume you're wrong and Mom is right

And you should really thank Mrs. Bringman

She spend so much extra time

It's like she sees the diamond underneath

And she's polishing you 'til you shine

Oh you got so much going for you going right

But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night

Tonight's the bonfire rally

But you're staying home instead because if you fail Algebra

Mom and Dad will kill you dead

Trust me you'll squeak by and get a C

And you're still around to write this letter to me

You've got so much up ahead

You'll make new friends

You should see your kids and husband

And I'd end up saying have no fear

These are nowhere near the best years of your life

I guess I'll see you in the mirror

When you're a grown woman

P.S. "go hug Aunt Rita every chance you can"

Oh you got so much going for you going right

But I know at 17 it's hard to see past Friday night

I wish you'd study Spanish

I wish you'd take a typing class

I wish you wouldn't worry, let it be

I'd day have a little faith and you'll see

If I could write a letter to me

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fqtbMHfpXY

Friday Funnies.....

2008-11-07T00:00:00.000-08:00

I was trying to think of a good blog to write on Friday. You know, that day we all look forward to all week long. The day that means it's the weekend and we can relax and do the stuff we want to without any bosses telling us otherwise. The day that we can drink when we get home and not worry about the next morning, oh I'm sorry am I the only who does that?? Kidding Kidding, maybe.

Anyways, the only thing I could think of to make Friday fun was to do what everyone else has already done and yearbook myself. I was a little apprehensive about doing it at first because I thought I would look horrible and not in the funny way. But I'm over it now and decided to have a little fun. So let's kick this off and have some laughs at my expense. Please don't hold back now.

First up 1950, this is the year my Mom was born. :-) I have to say I would have loved to be around during this time. Things seemed so much simpler.

Next up is 1960, gotta love those glasses

Next we have 1964, I think I really loved the sixties in my past life. I think I found a picture of my Mom last night that looked like this.
Next we have another sixties, it's 1966. I have to say I kinda like this hairdo. I think I could pull it off if it were in style these days.
Up next, 1974 the year I was born. I'm pretty sure as a little girl my hair was straight like that and I might have worn just like that too.

Now we move onto 1978, Disco baby!!! Oh yea I'm workin it!!!

We now move into the eighties, here is 1984. That's some big hair and I can hear all the cool rockin hair bands playin the background. I sure did love me some eighties hair bands. The TV shows during this time were Rockin too. Some of my favorites at the time were Greatest American Hero, Growing Pains, Facts of Life (especially the George Clooney time), The Dukes of Hazzard, Silver Spoons, Mr Belvedere, Who's the Boss and Family Ties. We watched a lot of TV in our house during this time.
Next we move onto the nineties, it's 1990. Some of the best TV happened during this time. Beverly Hills 90210, Roseanne and Doogie Howser MD. This hair is killin me because I so did this back in the day.

And last but not least is 1994. By this time I was already a Mom so my hair was the last thing I was thinking about, but I would totally ROCK this hairdo if it ever came back.

So if you haven't already tried this outrageous fun I totally recommend that you go here and check it out.

Office Space

2008-11-06T07:00:00.000-08:00

No not the movie....but there may be some similarities. I just thought that since so many of my bloggy friends were doing tours of their homes and well, I don't really have a home so much as an apartment. I would go ahead and do a tour of my office space.
This is my space. I'm the first person you see when you walk into our department. So I have to keep my space clean. :-) I'm usually on the phone when people walk by so I don't get to many visitors to my desk. But occasionally my bestest friend will come up and say hi to me and chat for a bit.
he above is my pieces of flare. Although I don't have 37 of them I have enough to make me smile every day and stay in a great mood. You'll notice the I have a couple pictures of my bestest friend Jen's Queen as part of my flare. I love her like one of my own too.
This is the really cool shelf where I keep my binders, notes and stapler. And when someone takes my stapler I bust out with "Y-- Excuse me. You-- I believe you have my stapler?" You don't want to take my stapler....because when they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much, and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler and it's not okay because if they take my stapler then I'll, I'll, I'll set the building on fire... I think they take me seriously now.

But I like this place to much to ever think about setting it on fire. Especially the fact that I can blog and read all your blogs on my lunch hour. It really is a great place. Thanks for coming along for my tour.

Wordless Wednesday...Stormy Weather

2008-11-04T22:50:00.000-08:00

Taken by my girl as I was driving.

For more Wordless Wednesday go here or 5MinutesforMom

Yea I Did......Did You?????

2008-11-04T18:57:00.000-08:00

That's right I voted and it felt damn good too. There was a line when I got there but who needs privacy booths?? Not me, I was proud of who I was voting for and wasn't afraid to show it.

Toast to Tuesday

2008-11-04T07:00:00.000-08:00

Here is what I would like to toast to today:

The first real fall rain

The smell right after it rains

My awesome job and awesome boss

To spending a great weekend with my kids

To having a wonderful man in my life

To having wonderful bloggy friends who are so good to me

What are you toasting to today??? Leave me a comment to let me know and have a wonderful Tuesday.

Presents....Presents.....

2008-11-03T18:54:00.000-08:00

When I got home tonight I had a present in the mailbox for me. This was waiting for me.

It was my blog giveaway winnings from Marla at Stolen Bon Bons. (and no I couldn't figure out how to block out my address on my photo site, so don't come over unannounced) I was so excited, it's not every day I get presents in the mail. So I couldn't wait to open it up. And this is what I found inside.

It had the awesome cookie recipe and cookie cutter but not just that it also had a bag of M&M's, who doesn't love those and a really sweet card from her as well.

How cute is the card that she put the recipe on??? I just love it. And oh the fun I will have making Gingerbread Men........I see moments from Shrek in my future.

How cute is this card too. She wrote a very nice thank you inside that just made me smile from ear to ear. She is just the best!!!!!!!!!

So Marla, I can't thank you enough for the sweet giveaway that I won. You are such a great bloggy friend!!!!

Manic Monday

2008-11-03T14:02:00.000-08:00

How many hours of TV do you watch per week? Probably around 15 hours. I have specific shows that I like to watch. Mostly comedy these days. But lately our TV has been tuned into a lot of the politics that are going on. Hopefully after tomorrow night it will go back to normal.

Do you feel that's too much, not enough or just right? Yea, it's probably to much TV and there are far better things I can do with my time but lately I've been lazy, just trying to keep it real.

Which of the 5 senses do you feel is your strongest sense? Touch, because all that know me know that I am touchy feely.

What's the wackiest belief you held as a child? Well I did have this one crazy belief. It's weird so I hope you don't judge me to hard....or laugh to hard. When I was 7 years old I took my first alone plane flight to LA to visit my Uncle and Aunt. I loved this Aunt dearly. They lived in the San Fernando valley and at that time there weren't a lot of homes. Anyways, my Aunt used to tell me stories of Israel because she had been there many times, being as she was Jewish. Anyways, I used to think that when I went out into their backyard and saw the lights far away that it was Israel. Yea, I seriously thought it was Israel. I think it was actually LA but I can't remember. That's not a story I tell to often. :-)

Now you play.......Go here to play Manic Monday.

A Late Thank You.....

2008-11-03T12:39:00.001-08:00

I'm a little late on a very special thank you. My bloggy friend Marla over at Stolon Bon Bons was having a really COOL giveaway last week that was a part of the Bloggy Giveaway Carnivals. She was asking everyone who comments to tell what their Christmas Eve traditions were. There were a lot of people who had awesome traditions.

Now me, well we just don't have any. But I wanted to comment anyways and let her know how awesome she was for doing the giveaway and for how cool the actual gift was. Well would you know it, I was picked as one of the runner up winners and will be receiving my very own sugar cookie recipe and cookie cutter from her.

HOW COOL IS THAT!!!! I have never one any type of contest and I was just so excited. So any day now I will be receiving my recipe and cookie cutter and you better know that I will be trying that recipe before Christmas Eve. But my wonderful friend Marla has now given me a new Christmas Eve tradition and since I have my kids this year for Christmas we will be making cookies the night before Christmas.

Thanks Marla, you are truly an awesome friend!!!!

Our Halloween

2008-11-01T09:35:00.000-07:00

This year was the first year that we didn't do trick or treating. I think it was the first time in at least 15 years that I wasn't taking any kids out. It kinda felt weird.

The boy decided a couple of weeks ago that he just wasn't feeling it. He didn't want a costume and didn't want to go out. Instead he wanted to go to our local high school Friday night football game. Which was fine with me. All we had to do was pray for no rain.

But we also still needed to get through the rest of the day. I had plans to get off work early so I could go up and pick up the girl from her Dad's. So that meant going into work at 8am instead of 9am which is so much different. Ty walked to school with a friend and I left.

Since it was Halloween we had a couple people at work that dressed up. They were going over to the Children's Hospital to volunteer for their festivities. I thought they all looked great.

Here is my co-worker Valerie AKA Ninja

Here is Amber AKA Wonder Woman

At lunchtime my bestest friend Jen, whom I also work with and our other co-worker Joe went over to my old job at CDA to check out their Halloween festivities. This company goes all out and when I say that I seriously mean it. It's the one thing I miss being over there. I knew it was going to be BIG so we headed over with camera in hand.

We stopped in at my old department first. Their theme was Hero's and Villains. I think it turned out really cool.

The first picture is of my old bosses office turned into the Insane Asylum in Gotham City. The next picture is him as the Joker. He was pretty funny. The next picture is actually Gotham City and then the bat cave. The next villain is Holly as Cruella Deville. I thought she was perfect. Then there is Roberta is the Hamburgler. I didn't get any pictures of actual Hero's. But they sure did go all out. The marketing department was a golf course from the movie Caddyshack, and they did great. They even had a Wii where you could pretend to be Tiger Woods and putt. Then we were going through this one department and came across this costume. This person literally went all out. You tell me.....I think it's the Alien from the movie Aliens but I could be wrong.

I was pretty sure that costume was going to be a good shot for best. I'll have to find out on Monday who won that award.

I got off work at 3pm and went up to pick up the girl. I got to see her senior portraits that her Dad had done and they turned out really good. I won't be getting any of those cause I didn't help pay for them but I plan on doing my own senior portraits for her. We headed back into Sac to go to daycare to pick up the boy, he was allowed to go there for free since it was Halloween. I really love that after school program but we aren't able to participate until at least after the new year. But he got to go and have fun and play games. We came home and changed and then headed out to the Friday night under the lights game. I was really hoping for no rain. I took some pictures but of course my camera didn't perform well, or it could be total user error.

I left the game after half time because I couldn't take the rain anymore. Yep it was raining and of course I didn't have an umbrella. The boy stayed at the game with friends who brought him home.

So that is our Halloween. I hope you all had a great and more importantly safe Halloween. Can't wait to peruse everyone's blogs to see all the cute Halloween costumes.

My Bestest Friend in the Whole Wide World

2008-10-30T11:29:00.000-07:00

Jen........she has finally broken down and started a blog of her own. She has been coming on and reading mine for the last couple of months and has gotten to know some of my really cool bloggin friends and loves reading about their lives.

So she decided that she would start one up on her own. So if you get a chance today head on over to her place and check it out and maybe show some comment love!!!! I know she will love it and it will make her day which in turn will make my day. :-)

The pictures are more than a couple of years old but they are some of my favorite. I love her to pieces.

Mom Would Be Proud

2008-10-29T19:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, first let me apologize to my bloggin friends. I've been a little out of it this week with the blogging and making my rounds to everyone else. I'm sorry. I'll be playing catch up for the rest of the week.

Now I had mentioned in my weekend wrap up how I deep cleaned my boy's room. Well in doing so I ended up going through one of my totes that I was storing in his closet, because yes the closet is that big. Anyways, as I was going through some old pictures I came across this one. I love this picture so much. It reminds me of a time when my family was a "family" and we were so happy. Hopefully my Mom doesn't cringe to much when she sees the picture. I'm guessing that it was taken either towards the end of 1978 or the beginning of 1979 based on the age my brother looks.

And the reason for my blog title, well let's go back a bit. Like when I was a little girl. I had a VERY bad habit of sucking on my left index finger. I mean it was bad, I did that and then would rub my fitted bed sheet. It's weird I know. But I think I was born with my finger either in my mouth or right next to my mouth and immediately put it in there. Now because I sucked my finger I never had long nails and was always a nail biter. I remember that my Dad hated that I sucked my finger and as I got older if he caught me with my finger in my mouth he would smack it right out. It got to the point where I would subconsciously put my finger in my mouth, even so far as to wake up in the middle of the night with my finger asleep and bite marks around it from me putting it in my mouth sucking on it and then eventually biting it. And if you look at my finger today it is shaped differently then all my other fingers for the simple fact that I sucked on it for so long.

When I was about 21 I decided to start getting my nails done. This helped me break my finger sucking habit very quickly. I could never grow out my own nails because they were thin and brittle and would break so easily. So I went for the tips with fiberglass and I did that off and on until last year when I could no longer afford it. I tried and tried to grow my nails out but every time they would break or I would get stressed and bite the heck out of them until there was nothing left.

Well back before I went to So Cal for Labor Day I had been trying to grow them out using a product from Sally Hansen that helped your nails grow longer and stronger. Couldn't hurt to try. Well it worked really well and I can say now that I have had the longest nails I have ever had of my own. In the picture below you can see them, you can also see my middle finger on my left hand that broke. I was devastated, and then my pinkie finger nail on the same hand broke. I almost cut them all off but decided against it. I'm glad.

So Mom, you would be so proud of me that I have stopped biting my nails and actually have beautiful nails that I take care of by myself. I think they ROCK!!!!